Bad Moms

Your dad and I are going through a rough patch right now. 737 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:55,445 Are you guys gonna get divorced? 738 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:56,851 What? No, no, no. 739 00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:01,130 No. We're not getting divorced right away. 740 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,287 I just want you to know that no matter what happens, 741 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,287 it's not your fault. 742 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,529 Why would it be my fault? 743 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,170 Why would you even say that? 744 00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:12,241 I don't know! 745 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,250 Oh, my God, baby, I'm so sorry! I suck at this! 746 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,448 I just don't wanna be weird, okay? 747 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,040 Baby, please don't cry. Please... No, no, no, no, no. 748 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,447 Honey, I need you to look at me, just look at me, okay? 749 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:24,765 Baby, baby.... 750 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,081 I need you to know that your dad loves you. 751 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,090 That I love you. 752 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:35,246 And I promise you, you will be fine. 753 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:36,601 (SOBS) 754 00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:38,526 How do you know? 755 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,011 Because I'm your mom, 756 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,651 and I know you better than anyone, 757 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:45,722 and I know what you're made of. 758 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:50,730 Oh, honey. 759 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,245 I love you. 760 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,450 I love you, too. 761 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,411 Hey, Coach? 762 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:02,481 Coach! 763 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,406 Fuck! 764 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,010 Hi, Gwendolyn. Hi, how are you? 765 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:08,856 Listen, um, I wanna talk to you about 766 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:10,800 the starting lineup of next week's game. Mmm-hmm. 767 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,491 In particular, Amy Mitchell's daughter, Jane. 768 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,921 You know I can't discuss specific players with you. 769 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,243 And you know that I chair the hiring 770 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,163 and firing committee, right? 771 00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:23,608 So let's stop clicking around and let's get to the fucking point. 772 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:25,849 Please don't get me fired, Gwendolyn. 773 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,324 My cat just died. Oh. 774 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,051 And I'm really very fragile right now. 775 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:33,365 Bench the little dork. 776 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,440 Yeah, she's fuckin' gone. 777 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:39,000 I need this. This is my time. Do you know what I mean? (CELL PHONE RINGS) 778 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:40,567 (SNAPS FINGERS) 779 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:41,681 (EXHALES) 780 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,005 <i>Go for</i> Carla. <i>Hey, it's Amy,</i> 781 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,416 <i>I just found out Mike is staying with his Internet girlfriend.</i> 782 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,966 <i>Oh, fuck him! We need to get you laid.</i> 783 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:52,121 I wanna get laid. 784 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:53,201 I'm on my way. 785 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:58,811 I'm so excited. 786 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:00,536 CARLA: Honey, I don't know, what are you gonna wear? 787 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:01,561 It's like a nun's closet. 788 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,524 (GASPS) No, no, wait. I got it, I got it. 789 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,244 Let's see this! 790 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,569 It's my favorite. 791 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:08,881 I love it. 792 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,322 No! No! Are you trying to get laid or adopted? 793 00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:14,563 Oh. Fair point. 794 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:15,641 Ooh. 795 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:17,001 Okay. 796 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,324 That's what a lonely person gets buried in. 797 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,289 Fuck, you guys, I literally have nothing, then. 798 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,203 I have mom clothes, I have work clothes. 799 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,886 Okay, you know, let me get in there one more time. 800 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,736 I'm gonna find it. Move. Move. Move, move, get me in here. 801 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,720 I have jackets, I have lots of 'em. We'll find it. 802 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,256 We'll find something, honey. Don't get discouraged. 803 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:34,416 AMY: Okay. Okay. You can do this. 804 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,010 I mean, Jesus Christ! 805 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,811 This is something that Mrs. Doubtfire would wear. 806 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:40,769 I love that movie. (GASPS) 807 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,046 Me too. Okay. 808 00:36:42,1