Deconstructing Harry

823 00:33:28,442 --> 00:33:29,808 Hey, look... 824 00:33:29,810 --> 00:33:32,077 You know, I'm... I'm... 825 00:33:32,079 --> 00:33:34,412 Harry... 826 00:33:34,414 --> 00:33:36,014 I loved you. 827 00:33:36,016 --> 00:33:37,850 I was in awe of you. 828 00:33:37,852 --> 00:33:41,621 But I wasn't in love with you. 829 00:33:41,623 --> 00:33:43,155 To my old university. 830 00:33:43,157 --> 00:33:45,458 They're honoring me, if you can believe that. 831 00:33:45,460 --> 00:33:48,394 Come with me. Give me a chance to talk you out of it. 832 00:33:48,396 --> 00:33:49,763 Spend one day with me. 833 00:33:49,765 --> 00:33:52,265 Harry, I'm getting married tomorrow. 834 00:33:52,267 --> 00:33:54,634 Tomorrow you're getting married? 835 00:33:54,636 --> 00:33:56,202 The day I'm honored, you're getting... 836 00:33:56,204 --> 00:33:57,803 I can't fucking believe this. 837 00:33:57,805 --> 00:33:59,038 You're getting married tomorrow? 838 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,542 Yes! Yes, it's been planned for months. 839 00:34:02,544 --> 00:34:04,745 Don't do it! 840 00:34:04,747 --> 00:34:07,114 I... 841 00:34:09,550 --> 00:34:12,319 While Goldberg was asleep one night, 842 00:34:12,321 --> 00:34:14,522 the devil entered his apartment 843 00:34:14,524 --> 00:34:16,691 and abducted his beautiful blond love 844 00:34:16,693 --> 00:34:18,860 and carried her off to hell. 845 00:34:18,862 --> 00:34:20,295 The following morning, 846 00:34:20,297 --> 00:34:25,100 Goldberg noticed the odd smell of burning sulfur. 847 00:34:30,339 --> 00:34:32,040 Harry Block? 848 00:34:32,042 --> 00:34:33,408 Yeah. You're cookie? 849 00:34:33,410 --> 00:34:34,575 Cookie Williams. 850 00:34:34,577 --> 00:34:36,912 You wanted me here at 10:00? 851 00:34:36,914 --> 00:34:38,547 Yeah. Jeez. 852 00:34:40,283 --> 00:34:42,785 So, uh... 853 00:34:43,353 --> 00:34:45,921 You wanna... shall we get to it? 854 00:34:45,923 --> 00:34:48,992 Uh, you don't want to talk a little while first? 855 00:34:48,994 --> 00:34:50,627 Talk? Why? 856 00:34:50,629 --> 00:34:54,397 Most guys don't like to just jump right into bed 857 00:34:54,399 --> 00:34:55,465 without a little talking. 858 00:34:55,467 --> 00:34:58,034 They think it's a little too businesslike. 859 00:34:58,036 --> 00:34:58,835 Oh, not me. 860 00:34:58,837 --> 00:35:00,204 You would tie me up. 861 00:35:00,206 --> 00:35:01,305 Whatever you want. But first, 862 00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:03,641 let's get the monetary part out of the way, 863 00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:05,009 and then we can relax. 864 00:35:05,011 --> 00:35:06,243 Absolutely. You get 200? 865 00:35:06,245 --> 00:35:07,511 That's right. There you go. 866 00:35:07,513 --> 00:35:10,280 So you want me to tie you up, that's it? 867 00:35:10,282 --> 00:35:12,750 I'd like you to hit me a little bit 868 00:35:12,752 --> 00:35:13,951 and give me a blow job. 869 00:35:13,953 --> 00:35:16,120 Ok, a blow job, then hit you. 870 00:35:16,122 --> 00:35:18,489 No, no. Hit me and then the blow job. 871 00:35:18,491 --> 00:35:20,424 I want to get the order right. 872 00:35:20,426 --> 00:35:21,392 Otherwise, it's no fun. 873 00:35:21,394 --> 00:35:23,694 Tie me up, hit me, give me a blow job. 874 00:35:23,696 --> 00:35:26,264 What do you want me to tie you with? 875 00:35:26,266 --> 00:35:28,867 I thought you were gonna wear stockings. 876 00:35:28,869 --> 00:35:31,236 Cookie, you're a definite artist. Definitely, you... 877 00:35:31,238 --> 00:35:34,139 they should put your lips in the Smithsonian. 878 00:35:34,141 --> 00:35:35,842 It took you a long time. 879 00:35:35,844 --> 00:35:37,243 I didn't think you'd make it. 880 00:35:37,245 --> 00:35:40,446 I was having a little problem focusing for a while. 881 00:35:40,448 --> 00:35:42,115 Finally, I got the right fantasy. 882 00:35:42,117 --> 00:35:45,818 I thought of a woman I saw on sixth Avenue today, 883 00:35:45,820 --> 00:35:48,621 and I coupled her with Svetlana Stalin. 884 00:35:48,623 --> 00:35:50,857 It's the daughter of the dictator. 885 00:35:50,859 --> 00:35:51,924 It worked for me. 886 00:35:51,926 --> 00:35:54,961 What do you take medicine for? 887 00:35:54,963 --> 00:35:56,396 Me? Depression. 888 00:35:56,398 --> 00:35:58,297 What are you depressed about? 889 00:35:58,299 --> 00:36:00,100 Depressed. Don't you ever get depressed? 890 00:36:00,102 --> 00:36:03,337 Doesn't your work ever get you down, or, you know... 891 00:36:03,339 --> 00:36:06,006 It's ok. Beats the hell out of waitressing. 892 00:36:06,008 --> 00:36:08,876 You know, it's funny. Every hooker I ever speak to 893 00:36:08,878 --> 00:36:11,279 tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. 894 00:36:11,281 --> 00:36:12,281 Waitressing's got to be 895 00:36:12,282 --> 00:36:14,315 the worst fucking job in the world. 896 00:36:14,317 --> 00:36:15,483 It's unbelievable. 897 00:36:15,485 --> 00:36:17,519 What are you sad about? 898 00:36:17,521 --> 00:36:21,089 I'm... I'm spiritually bankrupt. I'm empty. 899 00:36:21,091 --> 00:36:22,457 Wh