Kick-Ass

00:31:40,497 --> 00:31:42,623 Yeah, I'd rather die. 464 00:31:43,249 --> 00:31:44,875 So bring it on! 465 00:31:48,964 --> 00:31:50,089 You're fucking crazy, kid. 466 00:31:54,386 --> 00:31:55,427 Fuck. 467 00:31:57,180 --> 00:31:58,806 Thank you. 468 00:31:58,890 --> 00:31:59,932 What? 469 00:32:01,142 --> 00:32:02,184 Thank you. 470 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,731 That fucking rocked. Who are you? 471 00:32:10,276 --> 00:32:11,819 I'm Kick-Ass. 472 00:32:16,366 --> 00:32:18,951 - Dude, you gotta check this shit out. - What is it? 473 00:32:19,035 --> 00:32:20,619 ...on the latest corruption scandal. 474 00:32:20,704 --> 00:32:22,204 And coming up after the hour, 475 00:32:22,288 --> 00:32:25,749 a costumed vigilante has become the latest Internet phenomenon 476 00:32:25,834 --> 00:32:29,294 after a Hamilton Park resident filmed the man's remarkable intervention 477 00:32:29,379 --> 00:32:30,838 in a gang-related attack last week. 478 00:32:30,922 --> 00:32:32,715 - This is awesome. - Fuck, yeah. 479 00:32:33,049 --> 00:32:35,592 Welcome to this special edition of Eye on New York. 480 00:32:36,094 --> 00:32:38,637 How far would you go to help your fellow man? 481 00:32:38,888 --> 00:32:42,141 This colorful individual has been all over the news this week 482 00:32:42,225 --> 00:32:45,310 after a video of his intervention of street-gang violence 483 00:32:45,395 --> 00:32:48,313 became the most-watched clip on the Internet. 484 00:32:48,398 --> 00:32:51,775 Three assholes laying into one guy while... 485 00:32:51,860 --> 00:32:57,990 My MySpace, 38 friends. Kick-Ass's MySpace, 16,000 and counting. 486 00:32:58,408 --> 00:33:01,910 This thing was going crazy, and I was loving it. 487 00:33:01,995 --> 00:33:05,581 And finally, we want to know who is this man? 488 00:33:05,665 --> 00:33:09,251 Does anyone have any idea who this wetsuit crusader is? 489 00:33:09,627 --> 00:33:12,171 He must be someone's son, someone's brother, 490 00:33:12,255 --> 00:33:14,173 - someone's next-door neighbor. - Holy shit. 491 00:33:14,257 --> 00:33:16,008 - Have you seen him? - What happened? 492 00:33:16,092 --> 00:33:18,510 What happened? This guy happened. 493 00:33:19,888 --> 00:33:22,139 It's a great day for America, everybody. 494 00:33:22,223 --> 00:33:26,018 Yeah, everybody's favorite superhero right now, Kick-Ass, right? 495 00:33:26,102 --> 00:33:29,354 Kick-Ass! Yeah! 496 00:33:30,356 --> 00:33:34,485 I like Kick-Ass! His costume is crappy. 497 00:33:34,736 --> 00:33:36,320 He looks like a transvestite... 498 00:33:36,404 --> 00:33:39,531 You know what? Everyone likes Kick-Ass. 499 00:33:39,616 --> 00:33:41,909 Did you see the clip? He was actually pretty good. 500 00:33:41,993 --> 00:33:44,620 Good at getting his ass kicked. 501 00:33:44,704 --> 00:33:48,165 He should call himself Ass-Kick instead. 502 00:33:48,249 --> 00:33:49,458 That doesn't even make sense. 503 00:33:49,542 --> 00:33:52,461 Transvestite that is Kick-Ass will take you down, I say! 504 00:33:52,545 --> 00:33:54,379 That guy's gonna end up dead, that's what I think. 505 00:33:54,464 --> 00:33:56,757 Are you serious? The guy owns. 506 00:33:56,841 --> 00:33:59,551 I'd e-mail his site if I had a problem worth fixing. 507 00:33:59,636 --> 00:34:01,804 What? Are you kidding me? I got 100 guys who can fix a problem, 508 00:34:01,888 --> 00:34:04,264 you'd hire some putz in pantyhose? 509 00:34:04,349 --> 00:34:07,643 Well, I wouldn't wanna get in the way of your business, where I'm not wanted. 510 00:34:07,727 --> 00:34:10,229 Please, I know you have mistaken me for Kick-Ass, 511 00:34:10,313 --> 00:34:12,272 but I am not Kick-Ass. 512 00:34:30,917 --> 00:34:33,919 - You don't actually read comics? - Yeah, I just started. 513 00:34:34,003 --> 00:34:35,504 I got recommended some. 514 00:34:35,588 --> 00:34:38,632 Like Scott Pilgrim and Shojo Beat, that kind of thing. 515 00:34:38,716 --> 00:34:41,593 I'm not really into the whole superhero thing, though. 516 00:34:42,428 --> 00:34:45,973 So I guess you're not gonna line up for that new Kick-Ass comic then? 517 00:34:46,057 --> 00:34:47,099 I guess not. 518 00:34:47,934 --> 00:34:50,435 But you know what? I was seriously thinking of mailing his site. 519 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,021 I mean, I could really use some help from a guy like that right now. 520 00:34:53,273 --> 00:34:55,691 Help? Really? What with? 521 00:34:56,734 --> 00:34:58,569 You know I volunteer at the needle exchange. 522 00:34:59,737 --> 00:35:00,863 No, I didn't. 523 00:35:00,947 --> 00:35:04,533 Well, there's this one guy Rasul, and I felt so sorry for him. 524 00:35:04,617 --> 00:35:08,704 And the more I found out about his upbringing and stuff, I just... 525 00:35:10,748 --> 00:35:14,543 Wow, that's weird. I'm usually the one playing therapist. 526 00:35:17,255 --> 00:35:19,381 Can I make a confession? 527 00:35:20,049 --> 00:35:23,844 Ever since I was little, I've always wanted a friend 528 00:35:24,554 --> 00:35:26,096 like you. 529 ...