Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Jack. 503 00:41:53,982 --> 00:41:55,859 The oceans have turned to blood. 504 00:41:56,026 --> 00:41:59,196 Best to stay on dry land where it's safe. 505 00:41:59,779 --> 00:42:02,199 I'm about to be executed on dry land. 506 00:42:02,824 --> 00:42:03,867 Good point. 507 00:42:04,034 --> 00:42:05,804 Did I ever tell you the one about the skeleton? 508 00:42:06,453 --> 00:42:07,996 Yes, you have. Many times, in fact. 509 00:42:08,079 --> 00:42:09,164 Skeleton goes into a bar... 510 00:42:09,331 --> 00:42:11,583 orders a beer and a mop. 511 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:14,878 Funny as ever. 512 00:42:15,462 --> 00:42:17,380 Come on, let's go. 513 00:42:18,298 --> 00:42:21,301 Oh, if they disembowel you, ask for Victor. 514 00:42:21,468 --> 00:42:23,053 He's got the softest hands. 515 00:42:23,511 --> 00:42:25,430 - Thank you! - And mention my name. 516 00:42:25,597 --> 00:42:27,474 They won't cut your feet off. 517 00:42:47,410 --> 00:42:50,121 Come on. You're up first. 518 00:42:53,124 --> 00:42:55,001 And how would you like to die, pirate? 519 00:42:55,418 --> 00:42:57,879 Hanging, firing squad, 520 00:42:57,963 --> 00:43:00,465 or a new invention: the guillotine. 521 00:43:00,632 --> 00:43:03,134 Guillotine? Sounds French. 522 00:43:03,301 --> 00:43:04,302 I love the French. 523 00:43:04,386 --> 00:43:06,221 Did you know that they invented mayonnaise? 524 00:43:06,388 --> 00:43:08,932 How bad could it be? It's French, eh? 525 00:43:12,102 --> 00:43:13,144 Oh, well, then. 526 00:43:13,311 --> 00:43:14,980 I've changed me mind! 527 00:43:20,819 --> 00:43:22,404 No, please! Have mercy upon me! 528 00:43:22,487 --> 00:43:23,947 I'm a bed-wetter. 529 00:43:41,798 --> 00:43:42,757 Oh, come on. 530 00:43:42,841 --> 00:43:45,010 I mean, I have to walk upstairs as well for this? 531 00:43:45,176 --> 00:43:46,136 Bring the basket. 532 00:43:47,304 --> 00:43:48,722 Basket? Why? 533 00:43:50,223 --> 00:43:51,141 Strap him down! 534 00:43:59,441 --> 00:44:01,985 Here's an idea. Here's an idea. 535 00:44:02,444 --> 00:44:04,329 Why don't we try a good old-fashioned stoning, eh? 536 00:44:04,446 --> 00:44:06,281 I'd kill to be stoned right now. 537 00:44:06,364 --> 00:44:08,199 Gets the crowd involved, doesn't it? 538 00:44:08,366 --> 00:44:10,618 I should like to speak to Victor in Disembowelment. 539 00:44:10,785 --> 00:44:12,370 I should like to speak to... 540 00:44:13,079 --> 00:44:15,248 I'm not one to complain normally, 541 00:44:15,373 --> 00:44:17,751 but this basket's full of heads. 542 00:44:26,843 --> 00:44:28,428 The final words of Carina Smyth. 543 00:44:29,262 --> 00:44:30,889 Quiet! 544 00:44:35,226 --> 00:44:36,686 The final words of Carina Smyth. 545 00:44:37,896 --> 00:44:39,981 Good sirs, I'm not a witch... 546 00:44:40,148 --> 00:44:41,775 but I forgive your common dimwittedness 547 00:44:41,900 --> 00:44:43,568 and feeble brains. 548 00:44:43,735 --> 00:44:45,737 In short, most of you have the mind of a goat. 549 00:44:45,904 --> 00:44:47,113 Pardon me, sir. 550 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,511 Is it not common practice for those about to be executed... 551 00:44:49,657 --> 00:44:52,118 to be granted a last, I don't know, something... 552 00:44:52,285 --> 00:44:53,495 I believe I was making a point. 553 00:44:53,578 --> 00:44:55,288 If you could just be patient. 554 00:44:55,455 --> 00:44:56,664 No! 555 00:44:56,831 --> 00:44:59,542 My head's about to be lopped off, hence the urgency. 556 00:44:59,709 --> 00:45:01,086 And my neck is to be broken. 557 00:45:01,252 --> 00:45:02,921 Did you know that on occasion, 558 00:45:03,046 --> 00:45:04,277 the neck doesn't actually break? 559 00:45:04,381 --> 00:45:05,215 It just hurts. 560 00:45:05,382 --> 00:45:07,050 - What? - Oh, yes. 561 00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:08,718 I've seen men swing for hours, 562 00:45:08,843 --> 00:45:10,220 eyes bulging, tongues swelling... 563 00:45:10,553 --> 00:45:12,597 - revolting gurgling sound. - May I finish? 564 00:45:12,764 --> 00:45:13,765 No! You're lucky. 565 00:45:14,182 --> 00:45:15,266 Wish I was hung. 566 00:45:16,518 --> 00:45:18,853 - Kill the filthy pirate. I'll wait. - But witches first. 567 00:45:18,978 --> 00:45:21,022 I'm not a witch. Were you not listening? 568 00:45:21,106 --> 00:45:22,107 Quite hard to listen 569 00:45:22,111 --> 00:45:23,471 when you have the mind of a goat. 570 00:45:23,483 --> 00:45:24,776 Enough! Kill them both! 571 00:45:46,798 --> 00:45:48,216 Get another noose! 572 00:45:48,383 --> 00:45:50,635 Did you think you could defeat us, boy? 573 00:45:50,802 --> 00:45:51,602 No, sir. 574 00:45:51,803 --> 00:45:53,304 I'm just the diversion. 575 00:45:54,139 --> 00:45:55,473 Fire! 576 00:46:21,583 --> 00:46:23,418 Still rather be stoned! 577 00:46:28,631 --> 00:46:29,7...