Sex and Death 101

is going to make me- 781 00:38:56,380 --> 00:38:58,050 You think paying my car insurance 782 00:38:58,170 --> 00:39:00,220 is going to make me forget that you cheat- 783 00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:01,720 A stuffed animal? 784 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,010 I overheard a waitress say you paid off her car ins- 785 00:39:05,430 --> 00:39:06,560 Earth to Roderick Blank! 786 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,180 Stop having hot sex. 787 00:39:08,270 --> 00:39:10,520 Get your ass up to the house for a barbeque. 788 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,480 It is my boy Max's birthday. 789 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,770 Or my son Kyle. Be here! 790 00:39:24,490 --> 00:39:25,780 When my wedding was canceled, 791 00:39:25,860 --> 00:39:29,160 there had been a chill among the married folk. 792 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,450 You'd have thought I'd left them at the altar. 793 00:39:31,530 --> 00:39:35,660 But now they kind of like having me around. 794 00:39:38,830 --> 00:39:40,960 The ladies' man. 795 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,500 Lizzie is an amazing woman, Zack. 796 00:39:46,590 --> 00:39:48,880 I mean, what she's done with that clinic. 797 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:50,210 The way she's raised your two kids. 798 00:39:50,300 --> 00:39:52,260 Yeah, yeah, my wife's a goddamn saint. 799 00:39:52,340 --> 00:39:54,130 Now, this stewardess, did she say, 800 00:39:54,220 --> 00:39:57,550 "Come on my ass" or "Come in my ass?" 801 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,550 Oh, Roderick's definition of having children 802 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,560 is a little different than ours. 803 00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:03,310 Why raise them when you can pork them? 804 00:40:03,390 --> 00:40:04,560 Ooh! 805 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,400 Lizzie, how many times do I have to tell you? 806 00:40:06,430 --> 00:40:07,980 I didn't know she was your niece. 807 00:40:08,060 --> 00:40:12,110 Besides, she's 19- and a half. 808 00:40:12,190 --> 00:40:14,770 And I found her to be very mature for her age. 809 00:40:15,940 --> 00:40:17,610 - Rod! - So bad. 810 00:40:18,690 --> 00:40:21,200 Husbands, wives, 811 00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,780 kids, families. 812 00:40:23,860 --> 00:40:26,160 It was not just a world I was supposed to want, 813 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,700 it was a world I genuinely wanted. 814 00:40:28,780 --> 00:40:30,370 What's life without experiencing 815 00:40:30,450 --> 00:40:32,450 the wonder of a child? 816 00:40:33,790 --> 00:40:36,710 - I named my hamster Dog. - Oh. 817 00:40:36,790 --> 00:40:40,340 And when I get a dog, I'm going to name him after you. 818 00:40:40,420 --> 00:40:43,960 Mr. Butt. 819 00:40:49,630 --> 00:40:51,340 You about ready? 820 00:40:53,220 --> 00:40:55,510 Yeah. 821 00:40:58,560 --> 00:40:59,720 You know, maybe they're right. 822 00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:01,640 I should lower the old periscope for a while, 823 00:41:01,730 --> 00:41:03,140 hold out for someone special. 824 00:41:03,230 --> 00:41:04,310 Special? 825 00:41:04,390 --> 00:41:06,560 If the subject is cooking or crab grass, 826 00:41:06,650 --> 00:41:08,310 then you can listen to married people. 827 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,730 Come on. 828 00:41:09,820 --> 00:41:11,860 You're hitting baskets from everywhere on the court. 829 00:41:11,940 --> 00:41:14,110 This is no time to go back to the bench. 830 00:41:14,190 --> 00:41:15,860 Hey. I'm Bob. 831 00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:17,570 - Rod, is it? - Yeah. 832 00:41:17,650 --> 00:41:20,780 My apologies, I just- I couldn't help overhearing 833 00:41:20,860 --> 00:41:23,160 your good fortune with the female of the species. 834 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:24,620 I'm hoping it'll rub off. 835 00:41:24,700 --> 00:41:26,450 And why is that, kind sir? 836 00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:28,750 Oh, funny story. 837 00:41:28,830 --> 00:41:30,710 One morning about five months ago, 838 00:41:30,750 --> 00:41:33,250 I came to work, and right there on my computer screen, 839 00:41:33,330 --> 00:41:35,500 a day, a month and a year. 840 00:41:35,580 --> 00:41:38,130 A date. Today's date. 841 00:41:38,210 --> 00:41:40,670 I'm utterly convinced that it's a sign. 842 00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:43,220 The night that I'm to meet my soul mate. 843 00:41:43,260 --> 00:41:44,840 - You had to ask him. - I've gone as far 844 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,260 as to procure lodgings down the street 845 00:41:46,340 --> 00:41:48,220 at the Hotel Taboo. 846 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:51,010 Kind of spicy. 847 00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:53,510 Wait. 848 00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,600 You received an unexplained date as an e-mail? 849 00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,810 Yeah. 850 00:41:57,850 --> 00:42:00,520 Your next drink's on me. 851 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,110 Oh, how very kind of you. 852 00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:11,610 ♪♪ 853 00:42:17,620 --> 00:42:20,040