The Hot Chick

00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:07,486 * I GOT NO SECRET PURPOSE 737 00:38:07,519 --> 00:38:09,087 * I DON'T SEEM OBVIOUS, DO I? 738 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,357 Hey, Jessica! Jessica! 739 00:38:11,390 --> 00:38:12,691 Come here! 740 00:38:12,891 --> 00:38:14,159 [ PANTING ] 741 00:38:14,192 --> 00:38:16,428 We've got a suspect. 742 00:38:16,462 --> 00:38:18,096 OH, YES! 743 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:19,798 COME ON. 744 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,803 SOMETHING SMELLS LIKE DOG POOH. 745 00:38:24,836 --> 00:38:27,439 I THINK I'M SITTING NEXT TO IT. 746 00:38:27,473 --> 00:38:30,208 EW! [ LAUGHTER ] 747 00:38:30,241 --> 00:38:32,778 April: COME ON, HILDENBURG, DON'T PLAY DUMB. 748 00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:35,781 YOU HATE JESSICA, YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS SCIENCE CRAP. 749 00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:38,116 NOW, JUST CONFESS AND GIVE US THE ANTIDOTE. 750 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:40,018 APRIL, IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE 751 00:38:40,051 --> 00:38:42,187 FOR A WOMAN TO TRANSFORM INTO A MAN OVERNIGHT. 752 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:45,657 SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. 753 00:38:45,691 --> 00:38:47,493 LOOK... 754 00:38:47,526 --> 00:38:50,462 LET'S JUST PRETEND THIS WAS AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE 755 00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:53,164 WHERE I ACTUALLY BELIEVED YOU. 756 00:38:53,198 --> 00:38:56,368 WHY WOULD I WANT TO HELP JESSICA OUT, ANYWAY? 757 00:38:57,603 --> 00:38:59,505 [ SCOFFS, SNIFFS ] 758 00:38:59,538 --> 00:39:00,839 JESSICA! 759 00:39:00,872 --> 00:39:02,741 [ SIGHS ] 760 00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:08,780 HILDENBURG... [ SIGHS ] 761 00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:13,385 I'M SORRY THAT I HUMILIATED YOU 762 00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:16,021 IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL... 763 00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:18,524 AND THE VISITING 8th-GRADERS. 764 00:39:20,291 --> 00:39:25,531 [ Voice breaking ] BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE 765 00:39:25,564 --> 00:39:30,636 TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND HAVE TO SHAVE YOUR CHIN. 766 00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:32,103 [ SNIFFLES ] 767 00:39:32,137 --> 00:39:33,705 [ SNORTING ] 768 00:39:35,907 --> 00:39:38,577 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 769 00:39:38,610 --> 00:39:40,546 [ Voice breaking ] YES, I DO. 770 00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,616 [ SOBS ] 771 00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:48,153 [ SIGHS DEEPLY ] 772 00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,422 WHO'S NEXT ON THE LIST? 773 00:39:50,456 --> 00:39:52,190 [ LAUGHS ] WHOA. 774 00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:55,260 WELL, IT IS COLD IN HERE. 775 00:39:55,293 --> 00:39:56,895 [ LAUGHS ] 776 00:39:56,928 --> 00:39:58,430 SO YOU NEVER PUT A HEX ON ME? 777 00:39:58,464 --> 00:40:00,298 OH, I PUT PLENTY OF HEXES ON YOU -- 778 00:40:00,331 --> 00:40:03,368 TO GIVE YOU DANDRUFF, MAKE YOUR HAIR FALL OUT, 779 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:06,071 MAKE ONE OF YOUR BOOBS BIGGER THAN THE OTHER. 780 00:40:06,104 --> 00:40:08,406 [ Laughing ] OH, I THINK YOU GOT ME WITH THAT ONE. 781 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,942 HEH HEE HEE! AH HEE HEE! 782 00:40:12,511 --> 00:40:14,713 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 783 00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:18,817 THERE'S SOME POWERFUL CULT MAGIC AT WORK HERE... 784 00:40:19,017 --> 00:40:20,819 LIKE AN ANCIENT SPELL... 785 00:40:20,852 --> 00:40:22,387 OR VOODOO... 786 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,790 OR SANTERIA. 787 00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:26,925 WHAT'S SANTERIA? 788 00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:29,360 IT'S A LATIN-BASED FORM OF WITCHCRAFT. 789 00:40:29,595 --> 00:40:31,096 IT ORIGINATED IN AFRICA 790 00:40:31,129 --> 00:40:34,466 AND THEN EVENTUALLY MADE ITS WAY TO CUBA AND BRAZIL. 791 00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:35,967 BIANCA! 792 00:40:36,001 --> 00:40:37,335 I KNEW IT. 793 00:40:37,368 --> 00:40:38,770 MOST OF ITS RITUALS INVOLVE A CHICKEN. 794 00:40:38,804 --> 00:40:41,172 THAT SOUNDS DELICIOUS. 795 00:40:42,474 --> 00:40:44,576 I MEAN, INTERESTING. 796 00:40:44,610 --> 00:40:46,144 Eden: THERE'S A WAY TO TELL. 797 00:40:46,177 --> 00:40:48,279 A TRUE PRACTITIONER OF SANTERIA 798 00:40:48,313 --> 00:40:52,017 BEARS THE MARK OF THE SCORPION TATTOOED ON THEIR BACK. 799 00:40:52,050 --> 00:40:53,685 BIANCA'S ALWAYS HANGING OUT 800 00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,854 AT THAT DANCE CLUB -- INSTANT TANG. 801 00:40:56,054 --> 00:40:58,657 YEAH, TONIGHT'S LADIES' NIGHT, AND WE ALL GET IN FOR FREE! 802 00:40:58,690 --> 00:41:02,160 [ ALL CHEERING ] 803 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,630 [ CHEERING STOPS ] 804 00:41:04,663 --> 00:41:07,165 WELL, MOST OF US. 805 00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:09,100 TRUST ME -- 806 00:41:09,134 --> 00:41:11,937 YOU'LL NEVER GET BIANCA TO DANCE WITH YOU LOOKING LIKE THIS. 807 00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:15,707 * OH, YEAH, YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD-LOOKING FOR A GIRL * 808 00:41:15,741 --> 00:41:18,544 [ GIRLS GASPING ] * BUT YOUR BACK IS SO BROKEN 809 00:41:18,577 --> 00:41:22,113 * AND THIS FEELING'S STILL GONNA LINGER ON * 810 00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,182 NO...NO... 8...