The Opposite of Sex

I'm home! 499 00:32:49,886 --> 00:32:52,138 He called. He fucking called. 500 00:32:52,305 --> 00:32:54,849 Come on up, I'll play you the message. 501 00:33:01,690 --> 00:33:03,108 Did you call back? 502 00:33:03,274 --> 00:33:06,945 Yeah. It's some kind of a pay phone in L.A... 503 00:33:07,112 --> 00:33:10,198 corner of Robertson and Santa Monica. 504 00:33:10,281 --> 00:33:11,908 I called Carl. 505 00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:14,619 He's got some kind of a program with every phone number in the U.S. 506 00:33:14,786 --> 00:33:16,329 When did you call Carl? 507 00:33:16,496 --> 00:33:17,956 About an hour ago. 508 00:33:18,123 --> 00:33:20,959 I just saw him at the store. 509 00:33:21,126 --> 00:33:23,128 Yeah, right, whatever. 510 00:33:23,294 --> 00:33:25,296 Will you keep an eye on the house for me while I'm gone? 511 00:33:25,463 --> 00:33:27,298 You don't know where they're living. 512 00:33:27,465 --> 00:33:29,217 I'll find them. I found the pay phone. 513 00:33:29,384 --> 00:33:31,511 But why? 514 00:33:31,678 --> 00:33:35,974 What do you mean, why? To drag his sorry ass back here, that's why. 515 00:33:36,141 --> 00:33:41,271 To make Jason take it all back, and to ship Dedee... 516 00:33:41,354 --> 00:33:43,565 back to her miserable mother whether she likes it or not. 517 00:33:43,773 --> 00:33:47,152 Give Jason the number. That's all he's interested in. 518 00:33:47,235 --> 00:33:48,987 And then he'll drop the charges. 519 00:33:49,029 --> 00:33:51,489 And let her mother go out there and pick her up. 520 00:33:51,531 --> 00:33:54,242 This is what I'm doing. I can get someone else to watch the house. 521 00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:02,667 You know what your problem is? 522 00:34:02,834 --> 00:34:06,504 I need two tickets tomorrow, O'Hare to Los Angeles. 523 00:34:06,671 --> 00:34:11,009 Yeah, Dalury, Lucia, L-U-C-l-A, and 524 00:34:11,176 --> 00:34:14,137 Guess what? I know how my own name is pronounced. 525 00:35:12,237 --> 00:35:14,072 Maybe they're just bad pictures. 526 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,700 Maybe he grew a beard or colored his hair or something. 527 00:35:16,908 --> 00:35:18,743 It was such a stupid idea. 528 00:35:18,910 --> 00:35:21,830 A guy makes a call from a pay phone in a city of eight million... 529 00:35:21,996 --> 00:35:24,165 and I think I can find him. 530 00:35:26,751 --> 00:35:29,170 If you're meant to find him, you will. 531 00:35:29,337 --> 00:35:33,383 It's like you ending up teaching at my school and me introducing you to Tom. 532 00:35:33,591 --> 00:35:36,511 It's fate. And that's how it's gonna be with Matt. 533 00:35:36,678 --> 00:35:39,180 I say we give this up and we go home. 534 00:35:39,347 --> 00:35:41,683 And one day, if the gods want you to see him again... 535 00:35:41,850 --> 00:35:44,561 he's gonna be sitting in the seat next to you on a plane. 536 00:35:44,728 --> 00:35:47,939 Or his socks will be in your dryer at some Laundromat. 537 00:35:48,106 --> 00:35:49,816 It's destiny. 538 00:35:49,983 --> 00:35:51,693 I don't believe in destiny. 539 00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:55,113 Fuck, who does? It was worth a try. 540 00:35:56,448 --> 00:35:58,575 Excuse me. Bathroom. 541 00:36:57,884 --> 00:36:59,219 Poor Bill. 542 00:36:59,386 --> 00:37:02,764 It must be inherited from our father, you know, being romantic. 543 00:37:02,931 --> 00:37:05,934 It's just...when it's a man being romantic about a woman... 544 00:37:06,101 --> 00:37:08,186 it's not as revolting. 545 00:37:09,521 --> 00:37:11,940 Why did he grow that beard? 546 00:37:12,107 --> 00:37:15,944 And his posture...he looks like early man. 547 00:37:16,111 --> 00:37:18,279 He hurt his back lifting. 548 00:37:20,615 --> 00:37:22,617 I'm going to that dinner tomorrow night. 549 00:37:22,784 --> 00:37:25,787 I've got a few things I'd like to say to her, and to him, too. 550 00:37:25,954 --> 00:37:27,956 Lucia, I know what I'm doing. 551 00:37:28,123 --> 00:37:29,457 You think so? 552 00:37:29,624 --> 00:37:31,626 You're like a lobster in a pot. 553 00:37:31,793 --> 00:37:35,463 You're just thrilled that the water's getting toasty. 554 00:37:43,972 --> 00:37:48,435 When they get to the money, let me do the talking, okay? 555 00:37:50,645 --> 00:37:52,188 Thanks for coming. 556 00:37:57,318 --> 00:37:58,903 - Hi, Lucia. - Hi, Matt. 557 00:37:59,070 --> 00:38:01,322 - Couldn't stay away, huh? - You shaved it off. 558 00:38:01,489 --> 00:38:05,910 I didn't like it. So are you enjoying your stay? 559 00:38:06,077 --> 00:38:08,580 I don't know if that's the word for it. 560 00:38:08,788 --> 00:38:12,917 Can I ask you something, Dedee? When did you meet Matt? Refresh my memory. 561 00:38:13,126 --> 00:38:15,086 My name is Timothy. I'll be your waiter tonight. 562 00:38:15,295 --> 00:38:17,088 Can I star