The Great Dictator

- Yes. 1418 00:46:43,269 --> 00:46:45,604 - I like absentminded people. - Mm-hmm. 1419 00:46:50,443 --> 00:46:52,694 Do you know the story about the man that put his watch in boiling water... 1420 00:46:52,779 --> 00:46:54,196 and held the egg in his hand? 1421 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,031 No! 1422 00:46:56,115 --> 00:46:58,575 Very good. 1423 00:47:02,497 --> 00:47:04,414 They say all great men are absentminded. 1424 00:47:04,499 --> 00:47:07,334 It's a sign they're smart. 1425 00:47:07,418 --> 00:47:09,419 My folks didn't think so. 1426 00:47:12,423 --> 00:47:15,050 Of course there's an excuse for you. You were injured in the war. 1427 00:47:15,134 --> 00:47:17,803 I was born that way. 1428 00:47:25,770 --> 00:47:27,687 Wonder why women never grow whiskers. 1429 00:47:27,772 --> 00:47:29,564 Hmm? What? 1430 00:47:29,649 --> 00:47:31,149 I s - 1431 00:47:34,153 --> 00:47:36,154 What? 1432 00:47:37,365 --> 00:47:40,033 - Oh, my! - Isn't that foolish of me! 1433 00:47:40,118 --> 00:47:42,786 I could kick myself in the shins, I could. 1434 00:47:43,996 --> 00:47:46,164 I'll give you a shampoo. 1435 00:47:46,249 --> 00:47:47,749 That's good. 1436 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,173 Voilà. 1437 00:47:59,345 --> 00:48:01,012 Gee. 1438 00:48:02,056 --> 00:48:03,849 Ain't I cute! 1439 00:48:06,310 --> 00:48:07,853 How'd you do it? 1440 00:48:09,814 --> 00:48:12,441 - You should try it on yourself. - Huh? 1441 00:48:12,525 --> 00:48:15,026 If you were fixed up, you'd look handsome. 1442 00:48:15,111 --> 00:48:16,987 - Yes? - Yes! 1443 00:48:19,031 --> 00:48:20,282 No. 1444 00:48:20,366 --> 00:48:23,076 Four pecks a pound! New potatoes! 1445 00:48:23,161 --> 00:48:26,371 There's the potato man. I have to go. 1446 00:48:30,126 --> 00:48:32,210 Potatoes! 1447 00:48:32,295 --> 00:48:33,962 One, please! 1448 00:48:40,136 --> 00:48:43,263 Take it easy there. 1449 00:48:44,557 --> 00:48:46,558 Well, did you hurt yourself? 1450 00:48:52,064 --> 00:48:54,316 - Careful next time. - Here's another one. 1451 00:48:58,237 --> 00:49:00,113 How do you do? 1452 00:49:07,997 --> 00:49:11,666 Something's happened. I know it. The storm troopers, they helped me up. 1453 00:49:12,710 --> 00:49:15,128 Wouldn't it be wonderful if they stopped hating us... 1454 00:49:15,213 --> 00:49:18,840 if they'd leave us alone and let us go about our business like we used to. 1455 00:49:18,925 --> 00:49:22,427 Wouldn't it be wonderful if we didn't have to leave and go to another country? 1456 00:49:22,512 --> 00:49:25,023 I don't want to go away. With all the 1457 00:49:25,035 --> 00:49:27,557 hardship and the persecution, I love it here. 1458 00:49:27,642 --> 00:49:30,227 Perhaps we don't have to go. 1459 00:49:30,311 --> 00:49:34,147 Wouldn't it be wonderful if they'd let us live and be happy again? 1460 00:50:11,227 --> 00:50:13,144 Period. 1461 00:50:17,984 --> 00:50:19,484 <i><font color="#80ffff">Danke schoen.</i></font> 1462 00:50:25,074 --> 00:50:26,575 Ah. 1463 00:50:42,675 --> 00:50:45,302 Nothing works! Not a decent pen! Not even a sharp pencil! 1464 00:50:45,386 --> 00:50:48,888 I'm surrounded by nothing but incompetent, stupid, sterile stenographers! 1465 00:50:48,973 --> 00:50:51,474 - I'll get you a pen. - Don't bother. 1466 00:50:51,559 --> 00:50:53,476 I won't send it. 1467 00:50:53,561 --> 00:50:55,562 Get out! Get out! Get out! 1468 00:51:00,860 --> 00:51:05,363 We've just discovered the most wonderful, the most marvelous poison gas! 1469 00:51:06,782 --> 00:51:09,284 It will kill everybody! 1470 00:51:09,368 --> 00:51:11,620 All right, later, later, later. 1471 00:51:11,704 --> 00:51:13,622 <i><font color="#80ffff">B-76 to see Herr Herring.</i></font> 1472 00:51:13,706 --> 00:51:15,123 - Who's that? - A lady. 1473 00:51:15,207 --> 00:51:17,417 - My secret agent. - Hmm. 1474 00:51:17,501 --> 00:51:19,961 Your secret agent. Tell her to come here. 1475 00:51:20,046 --> 00:51:21,671 Have B-76 come right in. 1476 00:51:22,673 --> 00:51:24,090 Hail Hynkel. 1477 00:51:24,175 --> 00:51:25,372 Oh, Garbitsch, what do you hear from Epstein? 1478 00:51:25,384 --> 00:51:26,593 Most encouraging. 1479 00:51:26,677 --> 00:51:28,855 Our agent reports that all the board of directors 1480 00:51:28,867 --> 00:51:31,056 are Aryans, so the loan is bound to go through. 1481 00:51:31,140 --> 00:51:33,516 - Good. - Hail Hynkel. 1482 00:51:36,228 --> 00:51:37,729 Come here. 1483 00:51:40,524 --> 00:51:41,826 Well? 1484 00:51:41,838 --> 00:51:43,151 The men are planning a strike at the arms factory. 1485 00:51:43,235 --> 00:51:45,570 - Who's the leader? - There were five of them. 1486 00:51:45,655 --> 00:51:48,823 - Have them shot. - They were, Your Excellency. 1487 00:51:48,908 --> 00:51:50,784 Oh. Hmm. 1488 00:51:51,577