Eight Legged Freaks

at all times. 300 00:27:47,334 --> 00:27:51,922 If you feel disoriented, get to a higher chamber as soon as possible. 301 00:27:52,089 --> 00:27:56,218 It's nice to know you didn't forget everything we taught you. 302 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,486 -Can you give me a ride into town? -Sure. Hop in. 303 00:28:14,695 --> 00:28:16,154 Great, thanks. 304 00:28:25,372 --> 00:28:26,999 What's that? 305 00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:32,254 I think it's an exoskeleton of a male orb Weaver's pedipalps. 306 00:28:32,421 --> 00:28:34,298 Okay. 307 00:28:34,715 --> 00:28:36,842 It's a spider's leg. 308 00:28:37,134 --> 00:28:40,470 That seems awful big to be a spider leg. 309 00:28:40,637 --> 00:28:44,183 That's the problem. But nobody's gonna believe me. 310 00:28:45,225 --> 00:28:47,019 Believe what? 311 00:28:47,227 --> 00:28:49,271 Do you really want to know? 312 00:28:49,438 --> 00:28:53,734 -Try me. -Okay, the situation is this: 313 00:28:53,901 --> 00:28:58,530 My friend Joshua sells spiders. They've been growing bigger and bigger. 314 00:28:58,739 --> 00:29:03,619 Now they've broken out of their cages and headed down to the mineshafts. 315 00:29:03,785 --> 00:29:07,539 Joshua is nowhere to be found. They might've killed him. 316 00:29:07,748 --> 00:29:12,169 But you won't believe me. I'm the kid. They never believe the kid. 317 00:29:12,586 --> 00:29:14,213 Let me see it. 318 00:29:15,631 --> 00:29:19,051 It does kind of look like an old piece of cactus. 319 00:29:19,218 --> 00:29:20,677 See? 320 00:30:55,939 --> 00:30:56,982 So... 321 00:30:57,191 --> 00:31:00,986 -...Where were you? -I went to Joshua's. 322 00:31:01,153 --> 00:31:04,615 -What did I say about that? -His spiders are gigantic! 323 00:31:04,823 --> 00:31:08,076 The town could be in danger. They could destroy everything! 324 00:31:08,243 --> 00:31:11,580 People could get killed. Just hear me out. 325 00:31:11,914 --> 00:31:14,666 I swear to God it's the television. 326 00:31:14,875 --> 00:31:17,753 This is exactly your problem, right here. 327 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:22,299 I don't want to hear any more of your media-induced nightmares. 328 00:31:22,466 --> 00:31:23,759 Mom, listen to me! 329 00:31:23,926 --> 00:31:26,094 Add a week to how long you're grounded. 330 00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:29,598 -Please. -And no tv. 331 00:31:39,399 --> 00:31:42,361 I know, I thought it was a slam-dunk. 332 00:31:42,528 --> 00:31:46,365 Who knew Chris mccormack would suddenly get gold fever? 333 00:31:46,532 --> 00:31:48,408 I'm trying my best here. 334 00:31:48,575 --> 00:31:51,703 Do you know what people would do if they knew... 335 00:31:51,870 --> 00:31:55,707 We were storing toxic waste without their consent? 336 00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:58,210 Wade, I'm going out now. 337 00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:01,213 Now, look. I let you guys run tests... 338 00:32:01,421 --> 00:32:04,842 Putting that stuff in the mines under my property. 339 00:32:05,050 --> 00:32:08,178 -I'll be back late. -You owe me on this. 340 00:32:09,429 --> 00:32:13,892 Going off to get wasted, have an orgy. Might steal a car, want one? 341 00:32:14,101 --> 00:32:18,397 Bret, I'm on the phone. Go have some fun. I'll see you later. 342 00:32:18,564 --> 00:32:22,901 -We stand together or we fall together. -Thanks for caring, man. 343 00:32:42,087 --> 00:32:44,131 I'll do what I can. 344 00:33:00,564 --> 00:33:01,607 What the--? 345 00:34:14,304 --> 00:34:15,806 Good lord. 346 00:34:48,922 --> 00:34:52,092 I've been warning you for years, but you wouldn 't listen. 347 00:34:52,259 --> 00:34:56,180 Now it' s emerging as a trend in our sleepy little town. 348 00:34:56,346 --> 00:34:59,850 The police wire says Bob stuck's dog skippy's missing. 349 00:35:00,017 --> 00:35:03,228 It's the fourth missing-pet call we've had today. 350 00:35:03,395 --> 00:35:05,272 It's strange. It's strange. 351 00:35:05,439 --> 00:35:09,860 People are saying it's coyotes, it's wolves. But we know the truth. 352 00:35:10,027 --> 00:35:13,363 We all know about those cows and the probe. 353 00:35:13,530 --> 00:35:15,032 The anal probe. 354 00:35:15,908 --> 00:35:21,121 Let's talk about the probe. Let's talk about the anal probe. What is that? 355 00:35:21,288 --> 00:35:24,374 What are they looking for? That's just wrong. 356 00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:29,087 Skippy didn't do anything to anybody. He doesn't deserve that! 357 00:35:29,296 --> 00:35:32,758 What will you find in a dog's--? It's just wrong! 358 00:35:32,966 --> 00:35:35,427 You're all ostriches with your heads in the dirt. 359 00:35:35,928 --> 00:35:38,597 Which just leaves your ass up in the air! 360 00:35:38,764 --> 00:35:43,977 You're inviting the aliens in! They have no choice but to probe your butt. 361 00:35:45,479 --> 00:35:49,233 Aunt Gladys, how can y