Madame

- I'm very unpleasant. - Oh, come on. 515 00:25:44,090 --> 00:25:45,785 You're very funny. We're all friends here. 516 00:25:45,857 --> 00:25:47,518 Who'd like to hear a joke? Come on, love. 517 00:25:47,591 --> 00:25:50,114 Everyone's funny with a Spanish accent. 518 00:25:50,190 --> 00:25:53,282 The only joke I know is very vulgar. 519 00:25:53,357 --> 00:25:55,722 My Uncle Pedro used to tell it when he was drunk. 520 00:25:55,791 --> 00:25:57,519 I don't think it's appropriate. 521 00:25:57,591 --> 00:25:59,649 - Oh, no. Don't bother. - Don't force yourself. 522 00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:02,657 Come on, live a little. Tell us a joke. 523 00:26:02,724 --> 00:26:06,122 Okay. You want it, you have it. 524 00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:08,123 A family's at the dinner table. 525 00:26:08,190 --> 00:26:10,282 The son asks the father, 526 00:26:10,357 --> 00:26:13,688 "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" 527 00:26:13,757 --> 00:26:17,155 The father, surprised, answers, "Well, my son," 528 00:26:17,224 --> 00:26:20,952 a woman goes through three phases. 529 00:26:21,023 --> 00:26:22,217 In her twenties, 530 00:26:22,290 --> 00:26:25,655 a woman's breasts are like melons, 531 00:26:25,724 --> 00:26:27,849 round and firm. 532 00:26:27,923 --> 00:26:31,482 In her thirties and forties, they are like pears, 533 00:26:31,557 --> 00:26:34,990 still nice, but hanging a bit. 534 00:26:35,057 --> 00:26:38,024 "In her fifties, they are like onions." 535 00:26:38,090 --> 00:26:39,455 "Onions, Dad?" 536 00:26:39,524 --> 00:26:41,491 "Yes, you see them, 537 00:26:41,557 --> 00:26:43,490 and they make you cry." 538 00:26:45,190 --> 00:26:46,850 Hilarious! 539 00:26:46,923 --> 00:26:48,515 Wait, wait, I didn't finish yet 540 00:26:48,591 --> 00:26:51,285 because I'm translating straight from Spanish in my head. 541 00:26:51,357 --> 00:26:54,119 This woman's amazing. She's like Google Translator. 542 00:26:54,190 --> 00:26:56,214 The daughter asks the mother, 543 00:26:56,290 --> 00:27:00,348 "Mom, how many kinds of willies are there?" 544 00:27:00,424 --> 00:27:03,016 The mother answers, "Well, my dear, 545 00:27:03,090 --> 00:27:05,489 a man goes through three phases too." 546 00:27:05,557 --> 00:27:07,887 Love the voice of the wife. Keep going. 547 00:27:09,023 --> 00:27:10,684 "In his twenties," 548 00:27:10,756 --> 00:27:12,848 his willy is like an oak tree, 549 00:27:12,923 --> 00:27:14,686 mighty and hard. 550 00:27:14,756 --> 00:27:16,553 In his thirties and forties, 551 00:27:16,624 --> 00:27:18,988 it's like a birch tree, 552 00:27:19,057 --> 00:27:21,286 "flexible, but reliable." 553 00:27:22,591 --> 00:27:24,285 - Maybe not. - "After 50..." 554 00:27:24,357 --> 00:27:26,347 it's like a Christmas tree." 555 00:27:26,424 --> 00:27:27,720 "A Christmas tree, Mommy?" 556 00:27:27,790 --> 00:27:30,314 "Yes. Dead from the root up, 557 00:27:30,390 --> 00:27:33,221 and the balls are just for decoration." 558 00:27:35,057 --> 00:27:37,024 - Fantastic. - Sure is. 559 00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:40,285 That's a rude joke. It's not even funny. 560 00:27:40,357 --> 00:27:42,324 I have one about chorizo. Do you want to hear it? 561 00:27:42,390 --> 00:27:44,619 No, that will be fine. Thank you! 562 00:27:44,690 --> 00:27:45,623 I think that's plenty. 563 00:27:45,690 --> 00:27:46,987 Thank you, you're so... 564 00:27:47,057 --> 00:27:48,819 She's so funny! 565 00:27:52,190 --> 00:27:56,385 I can understand now why my dad is making progress in French. 566 00:27:56,457 --> 00:27:57,946 I bet he took one look at you, 567 00:27:58,023 --> 00:28:01,457 he said, "I want to learn French immediately." 568 00:28:01,524 --> 00:28:03,650 No. 569 00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:07,952 His wife forced him to learn la langue de Molière. 570 00:28:08,023 --> 00:28:10,819 Thank you for this. It's become my instant favorite. 571 00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:13,982 Oh, so you're the revenge. 572 00:28:14,057 --> 00:28:15,547 I don't get it. 573 00:28:16,857 --> 00:28:19,415 She used to be his golf teacher. 574 00:28:42,290 --> 00:28:46,280 So what do I need to wear to look more Parisian? 575 00:28:46,357 --> 00:28:47,846 Women are always asking me that. 576 00:28:47,923 --> 00:28:50,015 Le chic Franáais, no one can buy that. 577 00:28:50,090 --> 00:28:52,489 That's why I'm asking for your advice. 578 00:28:52,557 --> 00:28:55,422 Oh, I love what you did with the new issue, by the way. 579 00:28:56,857 --> 00:28:58,484 As my grandmother always said, 580 00:28:58,557 --> 00:29:01,853 "Tell the truth. It's easier to remember." 581 00:29:01,923 --> 00:29:03,856 You know, in therapy, I hear so many... 582 00:29:03,923 --> 00:29:06,049 lies, contradictions. 583 00:29:06,123 --> 00:29:08,988 But even your lies say something about you. 584