About a Boy

MARCUS: If Mum was going to get Will to marry hen 552 00:32:51,971 --> 00:32:54,098 she'd have to quit making jokes like that. 553 00:32:54,182 --> 00:32:55,350 At least she looked good. 554 00:32:55,433 --> 00:32:57,143 I had her put on that nice hairy jumper 555 00:32:57,226 --> 00:33:00,271 and those earrings she got sent from her friend that went to Zimbabwe. 556 00:33:00,355 --> 00:33:02,649 WILL: The kid seemed to think this was some kind of date. 557 00:33:02,732 --> 00:33:05,026 As for his mum, she was clearly insane 558 00:33:05,109 --> 00:33:07,862 and appeared to be wearing some kind of Yeti costume. 559 00:33:08,529 --> 00:33:11,574 This had better be quick one. We were definitely not ordering starters. 560 00:33:11,658 --> 00:33:12,825 MARCUS: I'll start with the artichoke, please. 561 00:33:13,368 --> 00:33:16,496 Then I'll have a mushroom omelette with fries and a Coke. 562 00:33:16,579 --> 00:33:19,791 - I'll have the vegetable platter. - We're vegetarians. 563 00:33:19,874 --> 00:33:20,917 I'd never have guessed. 564 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,710 Steak sandwich, please, mate. Thanks. 565 00:33:27,256 --> 00:33:28,549 MARCUS: This was going really well. 566 00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,637 I wondered if we were going to move into Will's place or move into someplace new. 567 00:33:35,515 --> 00:33:39,769 (SINGING) I heard he sang a good song 568 00:33:40,436 --> 00:33:44,565 I heard he had a style. 569 00:33:45,441 --> 00:33:47,902 WILL: I knew of course, that the song couldn't last forever 570 00:33:47,985 --> 00:33:50,571 that I'd soon be at home, tucked up in bed. 571 00:33:50,655 --> 00:33:53,157 I knew it, but I couldn't feel it. 572 00:33:54,617 --> 00:33:57,912 BOTH: (SINGING) And there he was, this young boy. 573 00:33:58,538 --> 00:34:01,416 WILL: I must've been insane. All I'd wanted was a date with Suzie. 574 00:34:01,499 --> 00:34:02,959 This was my punishment. 575 00:34:03,042 --> 00:34:06,963 Strumming my pain with his fingers. 576 00:34:08,881 --> 00:34:11,551 WILL: The worst part was when they closed their eyes. 577 00:34:11,634 --> 00:34:14,721 Killing me softly with his song. 578 00:34:14,804 --> 00:34:17,223 Killing me softly. 579 00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:19,016 Come sing with us, Will. 580 00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:22,061 I should really get going. Thanks. 581 00:34:23,771 --> 00:34:26,524 WILL: That's the problem with charity. You have to mean things. 582 00:34:26,607 --> 00:34:28,359 You have to mean things to help people. 583 00:34:28,443 --> 00:34:32,155 Like the time I volunteered to help out at a soup kitchen 584 00:34:32,321 --> 00:34:34,657 and very nearly made it. 585 00:34:34,741 --> 00:34:36,784 Or the time I worked the phones at Amnesty International. 586 00:34:36,868 --> 00:34:37,869 Did you know, for instance, 587 00:34:37,952 --> 00:34:40,747 in Burma you get seven years in prison for telling jokes? 588 00:34:40,830 --> 00:34:44,375 Next time you laugh, I want you to think of Pa Pa Lay, the Burmese stand-up comedian. 589 00:34:44,459 --> 00:34:47,503 We're at a crucial stage in our struggle for human rights in Burma, 590 00:34:47,587 --> 00:34:50,423 which have been grossly abused by the ruling junta. 591 00:34:50,506 --> 00:34:52,091 We need your support more than ever. 592 00:34:52,175 --> 00:34:54,093 Together we can make a difference... 593 00:34:54,177 --> 00:34:57,472 You're kidding. And what's your boyfriend say about that? 594 00:34:57,805 --> 00:35:01,058 Wait a minute. You say you haven't got a boyfriend? 595 00:35:01,142 --> 00:35:03,728 Talk about human rights violations. 596 00:35:04,395 --> 00:35:05,396 Uh-huh. 597 00:35:08,691 --> 00:35:11,068 Is that right? You're in the bath now? 598 00:35:12,904 --> 00:35:14,989 WILL: You have to mean things to help people. 599 00:35:15,072 --> 00:35:16,824 Fiona meant Killing Me Softly. 600 00:35:16,908 --> 00:35:21,204 Killing Me Softly meant something to her and look where she ended up. 601 00:35:23,456 --> 00:35:27,543 Me, I didn't mean anything, about anything, to anyone. 602 00:35:27,835 --> 00:35:31,547 And I knew that guaranteed me a long, depression-free life. 603 00:36:00,827 --> 00:36:04,247 WILL: All the same, over the next few days, I did have a strange feeling. 604 00:36:04,330 --> 00:36:06,958 Like a presence lurking at the back of my mind. 605 00:36:07,041 --> 00:36:08,793 And I didn't like it. 606 00:36:19,262 --> 00:36:20,930 (DOORBELL RINGS) 607 00:36:22,306 --> 00:36:24,600 You don't have a kid, do you? 608 00:36:25,768 --> 00:36:26,811 What? 609 00:36:26,894 --> 00:36:29,188 You don't have a kid, do you? 610 00:36:29,272 --> 00:36:31,315 Of course I've got a kid! What are you on about? 611 00:36:31,399 --> 00:36:32,483 No, you don't. 612 00:36:32,567 --> 00:36:34,277 I've been watching ...