American Beauty

00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:31,231 Ooh... Is that root beer? 442 00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:32,876 I love root beer, don't you? 443 00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:35,336 [door opening, creaking] 444 00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:37,464 - Hey. - Hi, Mom. 445 00:37:37,630 --> 00:37:39,632 You remember Angela? 446 00:37:39,799 --> 00:37:41,760 Yes, of course. 447 00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:44,304 I forgot to tell you, she's gonna spend the night. Is that OK? 448 00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:47,348 [coughing, choking] 449 00:37:51,853 --> 00:37:53,480 [♪ Gomez: <i>We Haven't Turned Around]</i> 450 00:37:53,646 --> 00:37:57,192 - [Jane] Sorry about my dad. - [Angela] Don't be. I think it's funny. 451 00:37:58,318 --> 00:38:02,363 Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. 452 00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:07,202 But to me, he's just... too embarrassing to live. 453 00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:12,415 Well, your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. 454 00:38:12,582 --> 00:38:14,459 But your dad's actually kind of cute. 455 00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:15,960 [Jane] Shut up. 456 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:19,631 [Angela] He is. If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot. 457 00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:21,800 - Shut up! - Oh, come on! 458 00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:24,385 Like you've never sneaked a peek at him in his underwear? 459 00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:26,346 I bet he's got a big dick. 460 00:38:26,513 --> 00:38:29,057 [laughing] You are so grossing me out right now! 461 00:38:29,224 --> 00:38:32,352 If he built up his chest and arms, I would totally fuck him! 462 00:38:32,519 --> 00:38:34,938 - [humming loudly] - I would! I would suck 463 00:38:35,104 --> 00:38:36,815 on your dad's big, fat dick 464 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:39,734 and then I'd fuck him until his eyes rolled back in his head! 465 00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:43,530 - [pebble strikes window] - Jane! Shh! What's that noise? 466 00:38:46,407 --> 00:38:49,035 - I swear I heard something. - Yeah. 467 00:38:49,202 --> 00:38:51,830 That was the sound of you being a huge, disgusting pig. 468 00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:55,667 - No, I'm serious. See? - [pebble strikes window] 469 00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:01,381 - Oh, my God, Jane. - What is it? 470 00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:09,430 It's that psycho next door. Jane, what if he worships you? 471 00:39:09,722 --> 00:39:12,350 What if he's got, like, a shrine with pictures of you 472 00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:14,853 surrounded by dead people's heads and stuff? 473 00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:17,939 Shit. I bet he's filming us right now. 474 00:39:18,982 --> 00:39:20,275 Really? 475 00:39:48,761 --> 00:39:51,681 - [objects clattering] - [dog barking] 476 00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:54,535 Welcome to <i>America's Weirdest Home Videos.</i> 477 00:41:19,727 --> 00:41:21,062 [knock on door] 478 00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:24,023 - [Frank] Ricky? - Coming, Dad. 479 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,612 [Frank] You know I don't like locked doors in my house, boy. 480 00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:34,742 I'm sorry. 481 00:41:34,909 --> 00:41:37,078 - I must've locked it by accident. - Mmm-hmm. 482 00:41:38,955 --> 00:41:40,081 So, what's up? 483 00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:45,920 I, uh, need a urine sample. 484 00:41:47,296 --> 00:41:50,508 Wow. It's been six months already. 485 00:41:52,093 --> 00:41:54,262 Can I give it to you in the morning? I just took a whiz. 486 00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:56,764 Yeah, I suppose. 487 00:42:00,268 --> 00:42:02,603 [hesitating] You know... 488 00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:14,073 Well... Good night, Son. 489 00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:19,263 [water dripping] 490 00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:23,017 [Angela] I've been waiting for you. 491 00:43:43,996 --> 00:43:46,165 You've been working out, haven't you? 492 00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:48,042 I could tell. 493 00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:52,380 I was hoping you'd give me a bath. 494 00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:55,508 I'm very, very dirty. 495 00:44:16,237 --> 00:44:19,323 [masturbating] 496 00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:30,877 What are you doing? 497 00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:36,424 - Nothing. - You were masturbating. 498 00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:38,718 - I was not. - Yes, you were. 499 00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:43,097 Oh, all right, so shoot me! I was whacking off. 500 00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:47,602 That's right, I was choking the bishop. Chafing the carrot. 501 00:44:47,768 --> 00:44:50,605 You know, saying hi to my monster. 502 00:44:50,771 --> 00:44:53,691 - That's disgusting! - Excuse me, 503 00:44:53,858 --> 00:44:56,736 but some of us still have blood pumping through our veins! 504 00:44:56,903 --> 00:44:58,613 - So do I! - Really? 505 00:44:58,779 --> 00:45:01,490 I'm the only one who seems to be doing anything about it! 506 00:45:02,617 --> 00:45:06,662 [crying out] Lester, I refuse to live like this. 507 00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:08,206 This is not a marriage! 508