If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

720 00:38:34,111 --> 00:38:36,610 (CHILDREN CHATTERING, YELLING) 721 00:38:41,879 --> 00:38:44,517 WOMAN: <i>Wake up, Mom. Wake up. Okay.</i> 722 00:38:44,619 --> 00:38:46,549 - (LINDA BREATHING HEAVILY) - (FAINT LAUGHTER) 723 00:38:46,651 --> 00:38:48,919 WOMAN: <i>Mom. Mom. You hear us?</i> 724 00:38:51,462 --> 00:38:53,796 (FAINT, ECHOING) <i>Come on, Mom. Snap out of it.</i> 725 00:38:54,265 --> 00:38:58,465 ("CANDY SHOP" BY JAE RAE PLAYING ON RADIO) 726 00:38:58,867 --> 00:39:01,300 GIRL: <i>♪ If you wanna know this If you wanna know that ♪</i> 727 00:39:01,402 --> 00:39:03,800 <i>♪ Come to my sugar shack ♪</i> 728 00:39:03,902 --> 00:39:05,870 Hey. Hey, you know what would be super fun 729 00:39:05,972 --> 00:39:08,504 and like a really, really big kid type of thing to do? 730 00:39:08,606 --> 00:39:09,739 GIRL: I can't hear you. 731 00:39:09,841 --> 00:39:11,411 I said, you know what would be super fun 732 00:39:11,513 --> 00:39:14,211 and a big kid type of thing to do? 733 00:39:14,313 --> 00:39:15,382 GIRL: What? 734 00:39:15,484 --> 00:39:16,648 If I drop you in front of the door 735 00:39:16,751 --> 00:39:18,154 and you just go in by yourself. Oh, my God. 736 00:39:18,256 --> 00:39:20,387 - That would be so cool of you. - No. 737 00:39:20,489 --> 00:39:22,822 - Why not? - All the moms walk you in. 738 00:39:22,924 --> 00:39:25,857 You're a mom. You have to walk me in. You have to sign me in. 739 00:39:27,226 --> 00:39:29,329 Eva! Eva! 740 00:39:29,765 --> 00:39:32,334 Can you walk her in today? Please, please, please? 741 00:39:32,437 --> 00:39:33,898 - I cannot deal with the parking. - (HORN HONKS) 742 00:39:35,204 --> 00:39:36,401 Of course. No problem. 743 00:39:36,503 --> 00:39:37,702 - No problem. - Thank you. 744 00:39:37,805 --> 00:39:39,340 Okay. Exciting news. Guess what? Guess what? 745 00:39:39,442 --> 00:39:42,612 Eva will walk you in! Go, go, go. 746 00:39:42,947 --> 00:39:44,047 ATTENDANT: Let's go! 747 00:39:44,149 --> 00:39:45,280 - Mommy, Addie scares me. - Come on. 748 00:39:45,382 --> 00:39:48,417 She only eats Nutella. I need you! 749 00:39:48,519 --> 00:39:51,053 - To be with you! - Honey, please. For Mama, okay? 750 00:39:51,156 --> 00:39:53,355 - Please? Please? - You are my mom. 751 00:39:53,458 --> 00:39:54,956 We'll go look at hamsters today if you do it. 752 00:39:55,058 --> 00:39:56,192 "Look" at them? 753 00:39:56,294 --> 00:39:57,156 I'll get you one, okay? Just go. Go! 754 00:39:57,258 --> 00:39:58,392 (DELIGHTED SQUEAL) 755 00:39:58,494 --> 00:39:59,622 Okay, see? I love you! I love you, okay? 756 00:39:59,725 --> 00:40:01,292 Everything's gonna be... Shit. 757 00:40:01,394 --> 00:40:02,560 - Hi. - GIRL: Hi. 758 00:40:02,662 --> 00:40:04,464 - Shit! Shit! Shit! - (HORNS BLARING) 759 00:40:04,566 --> 00:40:07,365 I'm the worst. I'm the fucking worst! 760 00:40:08,001 --> 00:40:10,969 And then you told me that if you touch a baby bird, 761 00:40:11,071 --> 00:40:14,510 the mama bird will not come back if they know you touched them. 762 00:40:15,907 --> 00:40:18,442 Hm. That must have been some dream. 763 00:40:18,544 --> 00:40:20,010 - Do you-- - I'm not done. 764 00:40:21,347 --> 00:40:22,617 You kissed me. 765 00:40:26,453 --> 00:40:28,456 I said, you kissed me. 766 00:40:28,625 --> 00:40:32,193 Yes. I heard you. In your dream, I kissed you. 767 00:40:32,495 --> 00:40:35,157 Yeah, and then the next day, I felt... 768 00:40:37,364 --> 00:40:38,729 ...crushing guilt. 769 00:40:38,831 --> 00:40:40,563 And I knew somehow that your husband 770 00:40:40,665 --> 00:40:42,032 had called me an asshole. 771 00:40:45,070 --> 00:40:47,570 You know, Stephen, we can talk about these feelings 772 00:40:47,672 --> 00:40:48,940 apart from your dreams. 773 00:40:52,212 --> 00:40:53,175 But... 774 00:40:56,251 --> 00:40:58,151 (SIGHS SHARPLY) 775 00:40:59,020 --> 00:41:02,118 I can't help it if in my dreams you always want to kiss me. 776 00:41:08,033 --> 00:41:09,259 What's the difference 777 00:41:09,361 --> 00:41:13,431 between going outside on hotel property when she's sleeping... 778 00:41:13,666 --> 00:41:15,533 ...and going all the way home? 779 00:41:15,802 --> 00:41:18,370 In one, I guess I'm just a regular mom 780 00:41:18,472 --> 00:41:19,637 making a shitty choice, 781 00:41:19,739 --> 00:41:22,275 and in the other, I'm a... I'm a... 782 00:41:22,377 --> 00:41:24,508 a straight up shitty mom. 783 00:41:24,610 --> 00:41:26,748 Well, it's not my role 784 00:41:26,850 --> 00:41:29,450 to decide whether you should or whether you should not... 785 00:41:29,552 --> 00:41:31,217 - That's not-- - No, no, no. I shouldn't. 786 00:41:31,319 --> 00:41:32,717 I know I shouldn't. 787 00:41:32,819 --> 00:41:34,819 I shouldn't even leave her for a second. 788 00:41:34,922 --> 00:41:38,720 (BITTER LAUGH) I mean, it is your job to say. 789 00:41:38,822 --> 00:41:41,129 Just tell me not to do it. 790 00:41:41,231 --> 00:41:42,894 Just tell me what to do. 791 00:41:42,996 --> 00:41:46,496 I