Watchmen: Chapter I

00:31:13,663 --> 00:31:16,166 "Jeez, he's breathing awfully hard. 482 00:31:16,249 --> 00:31:18,293 Maybe he has asthma."- 483 00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:19,711 He tried that with me, too, 484 00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:22,047 but I'd heard about him, so I walked away. 485 00:31:22,130 --> 00:31:24,758 He followed me down the street saying "Punish me!" 486 00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:26,843 I'm saying, "No, get lost!" 487 00:31:26,927 --> 00:31:29,971 What ever happened to him? 488 00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:31,556 He... he pulled that on Rorschach, 489 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,809 and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft. 490 00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:40,023 Oh, God, that's not funny. 491 00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:44,486 No, no, I guess not... 492 00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:47,364 That felt good. 493 00:31:49,825 --> 00:31:51,910 Not a lot of laughs around these days. 494 00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:54,079 Well, what do you expect? 495 00:31:55,330 --> 00:31:56,832 The Comedian is dead. 496 00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:10,470 Oh, look at her, 497 00:32:10,554 --> 00:32:14,307 <i>pretty as a picture, and still keeping her figure.</i> 498 00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:18,270 So, what brings you to the city of the dead? 499 00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:21,606 Being lazy isn't a terminal condition, Mother, 500 00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:24,192 so spare me the city of the dead crap. 501 00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:25,235 Brought you some flowers. 502 00:32:25,318 --> 00:32:27,737 Oh, big spender! 503 00:32:28,238 --> 00:32:29,197 So where's Jon? 504 00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:33,952 He had to go to some official funeral. 505 00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,413 <i>Made him put on pants and everything.</i> 506 00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:40,041 <i>I didn't feel like going, so he transported me here to California.</i> 507 00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:43,211 Teleporting always makes me feel sick. 508 00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:45,547 It's Eddie Blake's funeral, isn't it? 509 00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:48,133 I saw in the paper. He got murdered. 510 00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:50,469 Oh... Poor Eddie. 511 00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:53,013 How can you say "Poor Eddie" after he almost... 512 00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:56,057 What happened was 40 years ago. 513 00:32:57,017 --> 00:32:58,059 It's history. 514 00:32:58,768 --> 00:33:02,272 Gettin' old, you get a different perspective. 515 00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:05,358 <i>The big stuff looks smaller somehow.</i> 516 00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:10,864 <i>Ya know, that makes just three of us Minutemen left now.</i> 517 00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:14,618 <i>Me, Hollis, and poor Byron at the asylum in Maine.</i> 518 00:33:15,619 --> 00:33:17,078 <i>Eddie was the youngest.</i> 519 00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:18,747 The Comedian. 520 00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:22,125 Always jokin' that he'd bury us all. 521 00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:24,920 Always thought he'd get the last... 522 00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:28,173 laugh. 523 00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:32,010 You and Jon oughta move out here for the weather. 524 00:33:32,093 --> 00:33:33,512 Lots of sunshine! 525 00:33:33,970 --> 00:33:34,804 What the hell is this? 526 00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:37,724 What are you doing with this creepy pervert art? 527 00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:40,227 Oh, just some old memorabilia. 528 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:43,146 Being reminded that people used to slobber over me 529 00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:45,315 - is kind of flattering. - Flattering? 530 00:33:45,774 --> 00:33:48,276 Laurie, I'm 65. 531 00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:52,489 Every day, the future looks a little bit darker. 532 00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:55,242 But the past... 533 00:33:55,325 --> 00:33:57,160 even the grimy parts of it, 534 00:33:59,079 --> 00:34:01,081 keep getting brighter all the time. 535 00:34:07,921 --> 00:34:10,297 Okay, that's it! Nice picture, folks! 536 00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,759 Finally, I can scratch my armpit. 537 00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:14,010 Got spots in my eyes. 538 00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:15,971 Here, let me take a look, 539 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:18,473 maybe I can fish 'em out for you. 540 00:34:18,556 --> 00:34:21,393 Oh, Eddie, give me a break. 541 00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:23,018 Okay everybody, we're good. 542 00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:24,437 Let's meet in the lobby in five. 543 00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:26,231 We'll go back to the Owl's Nest for a beer. 544 00:34:26,314 --> 00:34:28,775 You go on ahead, I gotta change. 545 00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:48,295 - Hi. - Eddie, 546 00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:49,796 what are you doing here? 547 00:34:49,879 --> 00:34:50,964 You knew I was changing! 548 00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:53,592 Sure did. You announced it loud enough. 549 00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:58,597 Come on, baby. I know what you need... 550 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,516 know why you wear an outfit like that. 551 00:35:01,600 --> 00: