The Ambulance

00:28:27,126 --> 00:28:30,037 You'll wake up with the worst fuckin' headache you ever had. 402 00:28:30,038 --> 00:28:32,038 Oh god, Florence Nightmare. 403 00:28:33,215 --> 00:28:35,092 I've been called that before. 404 00:28:37,594 --> 00:28:41,557 Now, I'm looking forward to a nice, peaceful evening. 405 00:28:43,684 --> 00:28:47,438 So, if ya need anything, don't let me find out about it. 406 00:28:47,896 --> 00:28:52,025 You won't know I'm alive. What a charmer. 407 00:28:58,365 --> 00:29:00,580 They're tryin'to kill me, too. 408 00:29:03,662 --> 00:29:04,705 Who? 409 00:29:06,165 --> 00:29:11,545 Who? Son of a bitch doctors and that horrible Nurse Feinstein, that's who. 410 00:29:12,379 --> 00:29:15,200 If I don't get out of this hospital soon I'll be a dead duck. 411 00:29:16,133 --> 00:29:19,970 Nine and a half years I didn't go to a doctor. I felt fine. 412 00:29:20,345 --> 00:29:23,766 Then I let them put their hands on me, everyday I'm gettin' worse. 413 00:29:24,224 --> 00:29:26,476 - What are you in for? - Who the hell knows? 414 00:29:26,477 --> 00:29:29,500 They say cardiac, I say indigestion. 415 00:29:29,980 --> 00:29:32,732 Goddamn blackened redfish Cajun food. 416 00:29:32,733 --> 00:29:35,318 Whoever heard of servin' that crap to a non-Cajun? 417 00:29:35,778 --> 00:29:38,738 Hey, but as long as I got insurance, 418 00:29:38,739 --> 00:29:41,533 them son of a bitch doctors won't let me go. 419 00:29:42,451 --> 00:29:45,120 I guess we were keeping you awake, huh? 420 00:29:45,579 --> 00:29:47,623 You kiddin'? I loved every minute of it. 421 00:29:48,248 --> 00:29:49,833 Boy, for once I got lucky. 422 00:29:50,834 --> 00:29:55,506 - You're some roommate. - What would you say defines "some roommate"? 423 00:29:56,048 --> 00:29:59,176 A homicidal maniac for a companion? 424 00:29:59,885 --> 00:30:01,470 That's a terrific story. 425 00:30:02,054 --> 00:30:04,598 That's a feature that even the Associated Press would carry. 426 00:30:05,682 --> 00:30:07,893 All the nuts in this city and I'm special? 427 00:30:08,143 --> 00:30:11,647 Yeah, particularly if you did kill that girl like that cop suggested. 428 00:30:12,106 --> 00:30:16,401 - Sorry to disappoint you. - Eh, may I? 429 00:30:16,902 --> 00:30:18,362 - Be my guest. - Yeah. 430 00:30:23,951 --> 00:30:26,577 Hey, why don't ya make me feel better and just confess? 431 00:30:26,578 --> 00:30:28,079 Make you feel better? 432 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,040 Yeah, tell me all the grisly little details about 433 00:30:31,083 --> 00:30:34,085 where the parts of the body are buried. I mean, after all, I'm a nice guy. 434 00:30:34,086 --> 00:30:35,336 I could use the story. 435 00:30:35,337 --> 00:30:36,921 To me it would mean a lot. 436 00:30:37,339 --> 00:30:40,967 I mean, let's face it, kid. Look, at my age, they're tryin' to put me out to pasture. 437 00:30:41,343 --> 00:30:43,845 The reports sent down by those son of a bitch doctors 438 00:30:43,846 --> 00:30:47,096 didn't sit too well with that New York Post city editor 439 00:30:47,097 --> 00:30:49,315 who already had put me on Obituaries 440 00:30:49,316 --> 00:30:52,353 hoping that one day soon I would write my own. 441 00:30:52,563 --> 00:30:55,800 Are you tryin' to tell me that you're a newspaper reporter? 442 00:30:55,801 --> 00:30:57,151 The best! 443 00:30:57,152 --> 00:31:00,070 I could give ya a headline, but they'd never print it. 444 00:31:00,404 --> 00:31:02,507 - Well, try me, try me. - Okay. 445 00:31:03,907 --> 00:31:05,534 - An ambulance. - Ambulance. 446 00:31:05,535 --> 00:31:09,621 It picks up New Yorkers and they're never seen or heard from again. 447 00:31:10,372 --> 00:31:12,499 A vehicle of mercy that's really 448 00:31:12,750 --> 00:31:14,084 a murder machine. 449 00:31:14,126 --> 00:31:18,630 I like the one about the homicidal slashing much better. That always sells papers. 450 00:31:18,922 --> 00:31:19,965 Look, why don't we stick to that. 451 00:31:20,174 --> 00:31:22,776 Okay, fuck you, and get off of my bed. 452 00:31:24,178 --> 00:31:29,316 Fuck you? My grandfather, he says fuck you. I didn't say I didn't wanna hear. 453 00:31:29,516 --> 00:31:32,311 I said I'd rather hear something in the first person like, 454 00:31:32,978 --> 00:31:36,523 "I killed a top New York model." Now that's a feature story. 455 00:31:36,774 --> 00:31:41,236 - But hey, look. Who am I to be picky? - What's your name anyway? 456 00:31:41,445 --> 00:31:44,198 - Elias, Elias Zacharai. - Elias Zacharai? 457 00:31:44,199 --> 00:31:46,842 Yeah, it's a long name, but it looks impressive on the by-line. 458 00:31:46,843 --> 00:31:47,743 I bet. 459 00:31:49,161 --> 00:31:52,539 - What are you doin' outta bed? - My Jane Fonda workout. 460 00:31:54,416 --> 00:31:57,878 How many patients ...