The Lego Batman Movie

'Puter. Nothing. 815 00:35:39,388 --> 00:35:41,140 'Puter. Do you see what I'm saying? 816 00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:42,516 There's nothing wrong with it, sir. 817 00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:45,269 I have just taken away your computer privileges. 818 00:35:48,188 --> 00:35:49,982 The parental lock? You can't do that. 819 00:35:50,149 --> 00:35:52,359 Oh, I can. I've been reading 820 00:35:52,526 --> 00:35:54,903 <i>Setting Limits for Your Out-of-Control Child.</i> 821 00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:56,155 You know what? Doesn't matter, 822 00:35:56,322 --> 00:35:57,990 'cause I have a double-secret super password 823 00:35:58,157 --> 00:35:59,658 that unlocks the parental lock. 824 00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:03,120 You mean, "Alfred da Butt-ler," with two T's? 825 00:36:03,329 --> 00:36:04,330 (LAUGHS) 826 00:36:04,580 --> 00:36:06,957 Sir, it's time for you to stop this unhealthy behavior. 827 00:36:07,124 --> 00:36:08,584 No, it's not. 828 00:36:08,751 --> 00:36:10,294 You need to take responsibility for your life. 829 00:36:10,461 --> 00:36:11,920 Not right now, I don't. 830 00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,715 And it starts by raising your son. 831 00:36:17,968 --> 00:36:18,969 I'm sorry. 832 00:36:19,136 --> 00:36:21,930 I literally have no idea what you're talking about. 833 00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:25,059 The young orphan you adopted at the gala. Remember? 834 00:36:25,768 --> 00:36:26,935 (RICHARD WHOOPING) 835 00:36:27,353 --> 00:36:30,356 <i>Wow! Stairs. Whee!</i> 836 00:36:30,773 --> 00:36:32,983 He's been living here for the past week. 837 00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:35,778 <i>Hello, table! Boom!</i> 838 00:36:36,028 --> 00:36:39,573 ALFRED: <i>And I must say, I've grown rather fond of the young lad.</i> 839 00:36:39,740 --> 00:36:41,658 (WHISPERS) <i>Hello, secret camera.</i> 840 00:36:41,825 --> 00:36:42,868 ALFRED: <i>You should get to know him.</i> 841 00:36:43,035 --> 00:36:44,578 (SINGING) <i>We are family</i> 842 00:36:44,745 --> 00:36:47,289 <i>- You and he have a lot in common. - En garde.</i> 843 00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:50,959 Hello, family photos. 844 00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:53,545 ALFRED: <i>He lost his parents at a very young age.</i> 845 00:36:55,172 --> 00:36:56,924 I've always wanted one of those. 846 00:36:59,093 --> 00:37:03,055 Doesn't he deserve a chance for someone to take him under their wing, 847 00:37:04,098 --> 00:37:07,309 as I took you under mine? 848 00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:13,148 Alfred, you've been watching way too many Lifetime movies 849 00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:14,316 and drinking chardonnay. 850 00:37:14,483 --> 00:37:16,068 - It's Pinot grigio, sir. - Whatever it is. 851 00:37:16,235 --> 00:37:18,278 Listen, you don't have a family. 852 00:37:18,487 --> 00:37:19,863 You're satisfied serving me. 853 00:37:20,531 --> 00:37:22,866 <i>So what do you know about having a surrogate son?</i> 854 00:37:23,450 --> 00:37:25,077 <i>Now, I'm gonna go fight crime</i> 855 00:37:25,244 --> 00:37:28,163 while you put that kid on the next jet to the orphanage. Got it? 856 00:37:28,747 --> 00:37:29,748 (SIGHS) 857 00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,125 As you wish, sir. 858 00:37:31,458 --> 00:37:32,626 (WHISTLING) 859 00:37:32,835 --> 00:37:34,253 Whoops-a-daisy. 860 00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:35,587 (RICHARD GASPS) 861 00:37:35,796 --> 00:37:36,880 BATMAN: <i>Wait, what are you doing?</i> 862 00:37:37,047 --> 00:37:38,048 Dusting. 863 00:37:38,215 --> 00:37:39,258 You can't let him into the Batcave! 864 00:37:39,425 --> 00:37:42,553 I'm not. I'm letting him into your life 865 00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:44,263 via the Batcave. 866 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:46,390 (WHOOPS) 867 00:37:47,808 --> 00:37:48,892 (GASPS) 868 00:37:54,273 --> 00:37:55,274 What? 869 00:37:55,524 --> 00:37:56,650 (GASPING) 870 00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:58,944 - It's the Batcave! - (BATS SQUEAKING) 871 00:37:59,361 --> 00:38:01,864 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 872 00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:04,032 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 873 00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:06,743 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 874 00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:08,871 (WHOOPING) 875 00:38:09,371 --> 00:38:11,540 (GASPS) Batman! Whoa! 876 00:38:11,707 --> 00:38:12,875 You're darn right, "Whoa." 877 00:38:13,041 --> 00:38:15,377 Wait, does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement? 878 00:38:15,544 --> 00:38:17,713 No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic. 879 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,965 - We can have sleepovers every night! - No, we can't. 880 00:38:20,132 --> 00:38:22,217 - Wow! Look, it's the Bat-Sub! - Wait, don't touch that! 881 00:38:22,384 --> 00:38:23,594 Over there, it's the Bat-Space shuttle. 882 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:24,761 Please, keep your hands off that. 883 00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:26,388 - Look, it's the Bat-Zeppelin! - Don't touch that eit...