Apocalypse Now

00:54:55,501 --> 00:54:57,103 I wonder if that's the same chopper. 640 00:54:57,227 --> 00:54:59,967 Oh, hell, he's probably got 'em all over the river with that recording. 641 00:55:00,672 --> 00:55:02,633 We'll have to hole up here till dark, Chief. 642 00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:05,010 Don't worry, Lance. He won't follow us too far. 643 00:55:05,093 --> 00:55:07,930 - What makes you say that? - You think that Big Cav Colonel 644 00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:10,265 wants everyone upriver to know we stole his board? 645 00:55:10,349 --> 00:55:11,600 I didn't steal it! 646 00:55:14,761 --> 00:55:16,188 - Captain? - Mm? 647 00:55:16,471 --> 00:55:18,598 Just how far up this river we goin'? 648 00:55:19,691 --> 00:55:21,610 It's classified, Chief. I can't tell you. 649 00:55:24,696 --> 00:55:26,114 We're goin' up pretty far. 650 00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:30,244 Is it gonna be hairy? 651 00:55:31,787 --> 00:55:32,913 I don't know, kid. 652 00:55:34,081 --> 00:55:35,874 Yeah, probably. 653 00:55:35,958 --> 00:55:39,086 You like it like that, Captain, when it's hot, hairy? 654 00:55:39,962 --> 00:55:41,088 Fuck... 655 00:55:51,598 --> 00:55:55,310 Never get a chance to know what the fuck you are in some factory in Ohio. 656 00:55:58,730 --> 00:56:01,358 Hey, Chief, I'm gonna go get those mangoes now, okay? 657 00:56:01,641 --> 00:56:03,586 - Take somebody with you. - Yeah, I'll take, uh... 658 00:56:03,610 --> 00:56:05,279 I'll go with him. 659 00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:11,952 Chef? 660 00:56:12,795 --> 00:56:14,755 - Yes, sir? - How come they call you that? 661 00:56:15,914 --> 00:56:18,166 - Call me what, sir? - "Chef." 662 00:56:18,450 --> 00:56:21,995 - Because you like mangoes and stuff? - No, sir, I'm a real Chef. 663 00:56:22,963 --> 00:56:26,258 - I'm a Saucier. - Saucier? 664 00:56:27,009 --> 00:56:28,331 Yes, sir. 665 00:56:28,755 --> 00:56:33,140 See, I come from New Orleans. I was raised to be a Saucier. 666 00:56:33,423 --> 00:56:35,008 A great Saucier. 667 00:56:35,434 --> 00:56:38,812 - What's a "Saucier"? - We specialize in sauces. 668 00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:45,402 Gotta be a mango tree here, somewhere. 669 00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:56,413 Then I... I was supposed to go to Paris, study at the Escoffier School. 670 00:56:57,623 --> 00:57:00,751 But then I got, uh, orders for my physical. 671 00:57:13,914 --> 00:57:17,100 Hell, I joined the Navy. Heard they had better food. 672 00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:20,479 A "Cook School." That did it. 673 00:57:20,821 --> 00:57:24,424 - Oh, yeah? How's that? - Oh, you don't want to hear about that... 674 00:57:27,536 --> 00:57:30,806 They lined us up in front of 100 yards of prime rib... 675 00:57:31,740 --> 00:57:34,284 All of us. You know, lined up, lookin' at it? 676 00:57:35,035 --> 00:57:39,539 Magnificent meat, really! Beautifully marbled... 677 00:57:40,207 --> 00:57:41,641 <i>"Magnifique!"</i> 678 00:57:41,984 --> 00:57:45,270 Next thing, they're throwin' the meat into these big cauldrons.... 679 00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:47,798 All of it! Boiling it! 680 00:57:49,174 --> 00:57:51,969 I looked inside, man. It was turning gray... 681 00:57:53,220 --> 00:57:55,097 I couldn't fuckin' believe that one! 682 00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:59,084 That's when I applied for Radioman School, but then they gave me the Engine— 683 00:58:41,393 --> 00:58:42,469 What is it? 684 00:58:44,896 --> 00:58:46,106 Charlie? 685 00:58:57,284 --> 00:58:58,702 It's a tiger! 686 00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:04,291 Tiger, man! It's a tiger! 687 00:59:05,359 --> 00:59:06,669 Battle Stations! Lance, up front! 688 00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:08,211 - On the .60, Clean! - You got it, man. 689 00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:09,421 Holy shit. 690 00:59:09,504 --> 00:59:12,966 - Chef, come on! - Fucking tiger! 691 00:59:13,075 --> 00:59:15,202 - Captain, come on! - What's happening?! 692 00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:17,721 - Let's go! - Tiger! 693 00:59:18,572 --> 00:59:20,792 Chief, you were right! <i>"Never get out of the fuckin' boat!"</i> 694 00:59:20,858 --> 00:59:23,986 - Clean, bring that .60 forward! - <i>"Never get out of the boat!"</i> 695 00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:26,434 <i>"Never get out of the boat!"</i> I gotta remember! I gotta remember! 696 00:59:26,558 --> 00:59:28,932 <i>"Never get out of the boat!" "Never get out of the boat!"</i> 697 00:59:31,860 --> 00:59:34,988 - What happened? How many is it? - A fucking tiger! 698 00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:36,698 - What?! - A fucking tiger! 699 00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:39,493 - "Tiger?" - Yes! I've had it! 700 00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:43,080 I've had the whole Goddamn fucking shit, man! 701 00:59:43,263 --> 00:59:47,834 You can kiss my ass on the county square, 'cause I'm fuckin' buggin' out... 702 00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:52,172 I didn't come here for this! I don't fucki...