Major Payne

00:29:50,188 --> 00:29:53,124 [ Loud Flatulence ] 466 00:29:59,364 --> 00:30:03,067 [ Payne In Distance ] Ready! [ Alex ] Damn, G! He nearly put you in a coma. 467 00:30:03,101 --> 00:30:06,171 Ready on the firing range! It can't be legal the way he's been treating us. 468 00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:08,173 Turds, commence firing! Let's just tell Phillips. 469 00:30:08,206 --> 00:30:11,075 [ Gunshots In Distance ] Nah, that senile old fool ain't gonna help us. 470 00:30:11,109 --> 00:30:13,244 [ Payne ] What is that? What kind of shootin' is that? 471 00:30:13,278 --> 00:30:15,413 Hey! Hey, dummy! 472 00:30:15,446 --> 00:30:17,982 What's the matter? You can't see either? 473 00:30:18,016 --> 00:30:20,084 We gotta get rid of that son of a bitch. 474 00:30:20,118 --> 00:30:23,388 [ Payne ] You maggots couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a baseball bat! 475 00:30:23,421 --> 00:30:25,390 We're gonna have to prove... 476 00:30:25,423 --> 00:30:28,326 that Payne did something so vile-- [ Payne ] Do it again! 477 00:30:28,359 --> 00:30:31,162 [ Gunshot ] so perverse-- 478 00:30:31,196 --> 00:30:33,431 [ Gunshot ] so disgusting... 479 00:30:35,533 --> 00:30:39,103 that Phillips will have no choice but to fire him. 480 00:30:44,142 --> 00:30:46,010 Like what? 481 00:30:49,414 --> 00:30:51,115 Why me? 482 00:30:51,149 --> 00:30:54,986 'Cause you have got the biggest tits. [ All Laugh ] 483 00:30:55,019 --> 00:30:57,989 Shh. Shh. Ahem. 484 00:31:00,058 --> 00:31:02,126 Come on. Why not Wuliger? 485 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,262 'Cause Wuliger's gotta take the pictures. 486 00:31:07,165 --> 00:31:09,167 [ Snoring ] 487 00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:15,940 [ Snoring Continues ] 488 00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:24,048 [ Alex ] Look, it's been four hours. He hasn't blinked. 489 00:31:24,082 --> 00:31:28,353 I'm telling you, these Special Forces guys can sleep with their eyes open. 490 00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:30,054 Trust me. 491 00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:34,959 What happened to the other dress? 492 00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:37,395 This one's prettier. [ Smothered Giggles ] 493 00:31:37,428 --> 00:31:40,331 Shut up, Bryan! Shh! Shh! Come on. 494 00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:42,066 Williams, go. 495 00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:44,102 [ Door Creaks ] 496 00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:50,208 [ Williams ] Man, you sure about this? He looks awake to me. 497 00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:53,378 No, I checked on that. 498 00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:56,314 [ Snoring ] [ Alex Whispers ] Watch this. 499 00:31:56,347 --> 00:31:58,750 [ Louder ] Yo, turd-sniffer. Maggot-face! 500 00:31:58,783 --> 00:32:00,985 You see? He's dead to the world. 501 00:32:02,053 --> 00:32:03,254 Let's go. 502 00:32:12,130 --> 00:32:15,266 Get in. Can't I just stand beside the bed? 503 00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:16,968 Get in. 504 00:32:21,639 --> 00:32:24,108 Get in! [ Snoring ] 505 00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:31,115 Now put your head on his shoulder. 506 00:32:31,149 --> 00:32:33,551 - Are you crazy? - Do it! 507 00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:41,225 - Closer. - [ Snoring Continues ] 508 00:32:41,259 --> 00:32:43,161 Closer. 509 00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:47,031 Now-Now-- Now put your arm around him. 510 00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:54,405 Good. Now hold it. Hold it. Okay. 511 00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:06,250 Hello, Betty. Aaah! 512 00:33:06,284 --> 00:33:09,587 [ All Screaming ] 513 00:33:15,426 --> 00:33:18,363 [ Payne ] ♪ Got no worry Got no stress ♪ 514 00:33:18,396 --> 00:33:21,132 [ Cadets ] ♪ Got no worry Got no stress ♪ 515 00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:24,135 ♪ 'Cause we feel good in our dress ♪ 516 00:33:24,168 --> 00:33:27,138 ♪ 'Cause we feel good in our dress ♪ 517 00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:29,841 ♪ Major Payne's a major dis ♪ 518 00:33:29,874 --> 00:33:32,677 ♪ Major Payne's a major dis ♪ 519 00:33:32,710 --> 00:33:35,513 ♪ Makes us squat when we piss ♪ 520 00:33:35,546 --> 00:33:38,483 ♪ He makes us squat when we piss ♪ 521 00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:41,285 ♪ Got no worry Got no care ♪ [ Laughing ] 522 00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:44,288 [ Cadets ] ♪ Got no worry Got no care ♪ 523 00:33:44,322 --> 00:33:47,091 ♪ I'm just a bald-headed son of a bitch without hair ♪ 524 00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:49,861 ♪ I'm a bald-headed son of a bitch without hair ♪ 525 00:33:49,894 --> 00:33:52,563 ♪ Used to be Samson Now I'm Ann ♪ 526 00:33:52,597 --> 00:33:55,299 ♪ Used to be Samson Now I'm Ann ♪ 527 00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:57,869 ♪ Gotta earn my right to be called a man ♪ 528 00:33:57,902 --> 00:34:01,205 ♪ Gotta earn my right to be called a man ♪♪ 529 00:34:01,239 --> 00:34:05,510 I'll tell you, ladies, you're the purtiest unit ever underneath my command! 530 00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:07,512 Maybe I'll have to change my name... 531 00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:09,547 to Pimp Daddy Payne! [ Students Laughing ] 532 00:34:09,580 --> 00:34:12,450 Heh-heh-heh. [ Emily ] Ma...