Novitiate

00:36:54,087 --> 00:36:58,591 Okay. Well, can you just wait? Wait, wait, wait. Wait one second? 479 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,719 Um... 480 00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:04,681 Maybe I could just touch your hand for a second. 481 00:37:05,807 --> 00:37:07,058 Um... 482 00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:09,185 - Just for a second. - Yeah... 483 00:37:09,811 --> 00:37:11,855 We're really not supposed to touch like that, mom, so... 484 00:37:11,938 --> 00:37:13,815 - Oh. Okay. - I gotta go. 485 00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:17,402 Okay. Cathleen, I love you. 486 00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:19,612 Thank you for coming. 487 00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:22,741 Oh, god. 488 00:37:36,463 --> 00:37:40,967 I guess I just didn't really know it was going to be like this. 489 00:37:41,050 --> 00:37:42,135 Like what? 490 00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:46,389 That we'll be spending our whole entire lives here and never leaving. 491 00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:49,017 We won't even be able to go to our own parents' funerals. 492 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,353 Who cares? They'll be dead, anyway. It's not like they'll notice. 493 00:37:53,730 --> 00:37:58,651 Besides, don't you think knowing god knows we're here for him, 494 00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:03,156 knowing we are so much more special to him than anybody else... 495 00:38:03,823 --> 00:38:06,201 Don't you think that makes it all worth it? 496 00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:09,871 Yeah, I guess. 497 00:38:10,497 --> 00:38:13,041 Well, why did you come here, then? 498 00:38:14,584 --> 00:38:15,960 Audrey hepburn. 499 00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,672 What are you talking about? 500 00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:21,674 Audrey hepburn. 501 00:38:22,926 --> 00:38:25,678 I wanted to be a nun 502 00:38:25,762 --> 00:38:31,226 because I saw <i>a nun's</i> story, and she's sister Gabrielle. 503 00:38:32,352 --> 00:38:33,603 And I just thought 504 00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:38,733 she was so holy and beautiful and perfect. 505 00:38:41,528 --> 00:38:44,489 I wanted to be like her. Don't laugh at me. 506 00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:47,200 That's not very holy. 507 00:38:48,284 --> 00:38:49,661 I won't tell anybody. 508 00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:52,080 <i>This was a mistake.</i> 509 00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:55,375 <i>I was too young for it.</i> 510 00:39:00,296 --> 00:39:03,091 <i>I didn't ever mean to disappoint you.</i> 511 00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:11,099 I just don't know if I feel it, you know? 512 00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:14,394 Feel what? 513 00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:21,359 My relationship with him. 514 00:39:22,569 --> 00:39:24,863 Whatever we're supposed to feel. 515 00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:32,954 I can't tell if I'm communicating with him, 516 00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:37,667 and it's really him or if it's just all in my head. 517 00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:45,174 Reverend mother says we can't fake 518 00:39:45,425 --> 00:39:47,260 our relationship with him. 519 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,346 Because if... 520 00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:54,976 Even if nobody else knows, he'll know and he'll shun us for it. 521 00:39:57,103 --> 00:40:00,857 But I'm just worried, what if I'm faking it, 522 00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,568 and I don't even realize? 523 00:41:29,570 --> 00:41:32,031 No, I have them right here in front of me. I... 524 00:41:38,621 --> 00:41:41,040 It's not that i wasn't going to respond. I... 525 00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:45,211 Of course I understand the historic... 526 00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:52,051 And also with you. 527 00:42:22,457 --> 00:42:23,458 Good morning, reverend mother. 528 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,043 - Praise the lord. - Now and forever. 529 00:42:25,918 --> 00:42:27,795 Did you just speak? 530 00:42:29,172 --> 00:42:31,007 Did I just hear you speak? 531 00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:39,265 What's your name? 532 00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:42,643 I'm sister sissy. 533 00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:44,145 Sister sissy? 534 00:42:45,229 --> 00:42:47,648 Well, sister sissy... 535 00:42:49,442 --> 00:42:52,111 Why don't you tell me what you've been doing lately, 536 00:42:52,195 --> 00:42:55,073 besides getting fat, being late for mass, 537 00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:58,493 and talking during grand silence. 538 00:43:02,830 --> 00:43:06,793 I... I didn't realize it was still grand silence. 539 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:11,005 Well, because they told us to count the bells before noon. 540 00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:12,090 And I counted... 541 00:43:12,173 --> 00:43:14,634 Do you not understand what "silence" means? Hmm? 542 00:43:15,468 --> 00:43:17,678 Was it not explained to you properly? 543 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,518 During grand silence, you are silent. Mmm? 544 00:43:24,102 --> 00:43:26,938 And silence means you don't talk. 545 00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,773 You shut your mouth! 546 00:43:30,817 --> 00:43:34,028 But, reverend mother, you're talking. 547 00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:37,323 That is because I am reprimanding you right now, Jenny! 548 00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:40,493 - I am reprimanding you! -It's "sissy." 549 00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:45,957 I do