Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief

00:42:20,679 --> 00:42:22,179 fears, and anxieties. 846 00:42:24,215 --> 00:42:26,249 <i>Then you are on the E-meter,</i> 847 00:42:26,267 --> 00:42:27,634 <i>by yourself, now.</i> 848 00:42:27,686 --> 00:42:29,103 <i>You're soloing.</i> 849 00:42:29,137 --> 00:42:32,523 <i>You're supposed to scan, mentally,</i> 850 00:42:32,557 --> 00:42:34,942 <i>from your top of your head to your toes,</i> 851 00:42:34,976 --> 00:42:39,029 to see if you can locate any alien beings. 852 00:42:39,064 --> 00:42:42,432 And when you do, you tell them to go away. 853 00:42:42,450 --> 00:42:46,102 <i>I kept on trying to audit.</i> 854 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:50,456 <i>I could not figure out how I could have</i> 855 00:42:50,491 --> 00:42:53,710 all these spirits of dead people attached to me, 856 00:42:53,744 --> 00:42:55,545 inside me, on me. 857 00:42:55,579 --> 00:42:57,613 I was clear. 858 00:42:57,631 --> 00:43:00,166 For God's sake, I was clear. 859 00:43:00,217 --> 00:43:02,335 People actually have breakdowns, 860 00:43:02,386 --> 00:43:03,803 you know, nervous breakdowns, 861 00:43:03,837 --> 00:43:06,339 because they spend so much time thinking 862 00:43:06,390 --> 00:43:09,392 <i>about being infested by these creatures.</i> 863 00:43:09,426 --> 00:43:13,596 <i>If you're really believing that, it can drive you crazy.</i> 864 00:43:24,907 --> 00:43:27,659 <i>Those years of introspection</i> 865 00:43:27,693 --> 00:43:31,446 eventually led me to sincerely considering 866 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:35,250 that I was so bad, 867 00:43:35,284 --> 00:43:39,788 that I couldn't confront how bad I was. 868 00:43:39,822 --> 00:43:42,374 I didn't know it at the time, 869 00:43:42,425 --> 00:43:45,627 but a depression set in that was with me for years, 870 00:43:45,661 --> 00:43:48,680 <i>and the worst thing was</i> 871 00:43:48,714 --> 00:43:52,883 <i>that LRH kept ordering me to more auditing.</i> 872 00:43:52,934 --> 00:43:56,470 <i>I had to find swords that were stuck in me--</i> 873 00:43:56,504 --> 00:43:58,606 hypothetical swords, 874 00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:01,842 imaginary swords that were causing all this pain. 875 00:44:01,860 --> 00:44:04,779 <i>This auditing went on and on.</i> 876 00:44:04,813 --> 00:44:06,564 <i>It wasn't doing any good.</i> 877 00:44:06,615 --> 00:44:09,016 <i>I should have been left alone.</i> 878 00:44:09,034 --> 00:44:12,369 <i>But everything that I took offense with,</i> 879 00:44:12,404 --> 00:44:15,122 <i>I rationalized almost immediately.</i> 880 00:44:15,157 --> 00:44:16,924 <i>I had to.</i> 881 00:44:16,958 --> 00:44:20,828 I could not continue in this game of Scientology 882 00:44:20,862 --> 00:44:24,914 without explaining away what he was doing. 883 00:44:24,965 --> 00:44:29,469 <i>It got to be a way of believing,</i> 884 00:44:29,503 --> 00:44:33,723 <i>and every one of us got into that.</i> 885 00:44:33,757 --> 00:44:37,727 <i>It was part of the mind control.</i> 886 00:44:37,761 --> 00:44:41,431 <i>It was part of the cultic manipulation.</i> 887 00:44:41,482 --> 00:44:44,767 <i>He was the master who did it to us,</i> 888 00:44:44,819 --> 00:44:48,988 <i>and we took it on and then we did it to ourselves.</i> 889 00:44:49,023 --> 00:44:51,658 <i>And I learned from it,</i> 890 00:44:51,692 --> 00:44:54,861 that I would never ever again, 891 00:44:54,912 --> 00:44:57,529 you know, go-- do the bidding of a tyrant. 892 00:45:07,740 --> 00:45:11,109 <i>Hubbard questioned his own sanity</i> 893 00:45:11,144 --> 00:45:14,213 <i>and actually wrote a letter to the Veteran's Administration</i> 894 00:45:14,247 --> 00:45:16,081 <i>asking for psychiatric help</i> 895 00:45:16,099 --> 00:45:19,518 <i>that he seems never to have been given.</i> 896 00:45:19,552 --> 00:45:23,605 I think that his whole creation of Scientology 897 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,924 really was a form of self-therapy. 898 00:45:25,942 --> 00:45:29,111 <i>If he were just a fraud, then at some point,</i> 899 00:45:29,145 --> 00:45:31,062 <i>he would have taken the money and run,</i> 900 00:45:31,096 --> 00:45:32,480 <i>but he never did that.</i> 901 00:45:32,531 --> 00:45:35,283 <i>He spent much of his day on the E-meter,</i> 902 00:45:35,317 --> 00:45:37,434 <i>trying to understand what was going on</i> 903 00:45:37,452 --> 00:45:39,270 <i>inside his own mind.</i> 904 00:45:40,989 --> 00:45:42,907 <i>Hubbard became increasingly paranoid</i> 905 00:45:42,941 --> 00:45:45,442 <i>that a powerful thetan had infected his body</i> 906 00:45:45,460 --> 00:45:47,411 <i>and that regular auditing</i> 907 00:45:47,445 --> 00:45:50,164 <i>wasn't strong enough to make it leave.</i> 908 00:45:50,215 --> 00:45:51,916 <i>When Larry Wright was researching his book,</i> 909 00:45:51,950 --> 00:45:54,585 <i>he videot