The Fundamentals of Caring

What are you doing? What are you doing? 370 00:27:35,653 --> 00:27:38,865 You are gonna pee standing up. 371 00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:41,409 No, no, no. Honestly, it's not gonna work. It's a mistake. 372 00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:43,078 -It's gonna work. All right? -No, no, no. 373 00:27:43,161 --> 00:27:44,245 It's fine. I got you. 374 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:45,997 -Give me a sec. -I've got you. Shh. 375 00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:48,208 Shh. Shh. 376 00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:51,461 It is okay-- Oh! Stop for a second. Stop for a second. 377 00:27:51,544 --> 00:27:53,171 [Trevor] I can't stop. [Ben] Grab your penis! 378 00:27:53,254 --> 00:27:56,633 [Trevor] I am! I've got my penis! [Ben] That's holding your penis? 379 00:27:59,844 --> 00:28:03,640 -Time for a little celebration. -What are we celebrating? 380 00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:05,892 This is the farthest you've ever been from home. 381 00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:08,144 What are you talking about? I lived in England. 382 00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:10,105 You know what I mean. 383 00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:15,360 -You ever had a Slim Jim? -What do you think? 384 00:28:16,277 --> 00:28:19,406 -I think it's time. -Not happening. No. 385 00:28:19,489 --> 00:28:22,117 We have enough newness going on here. 386 00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:26,704 Dude, were you--? Were you just doing air quotes? 387 00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:31,376 Don't-- Don't ever do that again. Trust me. 388 00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:34,671 Come on. This is what road trips are all about. 389 00:28:36,506 --> 00:28:37,715 No. 390 00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:41,136 It's really good. 391 00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:43,012 Mmm! 392 00:28:43,888 --> 00:28:45,265 Mmm! 393 00:28:45,348 --> 00:28:47,267 That's a hell of a meat stick. 394 00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:49,310 Mmm! 395 00:28:49,644 --> 00:28:50,979 Oh. 396 00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:54,274 Try it? Just try it? 397 00:28:55,024 --> 00:28:58,153 Come on, have a bite of the Jim. Bite the Jim. 398 00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:00,613 Nibble on the Jim. 399 00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:03,575 [English accent] Bite of the James? Hm? 400 00:29:03,658 --> 00:29:07,746 Isn't that what they say in your country? A little bite of the James, shall we? 401 00:29:08,288 --> 00:29:10,290 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 402 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:13,168 Mmm! Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 403 00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:16,045 [English accent] Little bite of James! 404 00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:18,590 Go on! Have a bite of James! 405 00:29:20,049 --> 00:29:22,844 [Trevor] Let me see if there's any food in there I can actually eat. 406 00:29:54,417 --> 00:29:56,377 Cool fucking sneakers. 407 00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:01,841 Mall. 408 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:23,863 Mall. 409 00:30:25,573 --> 00:30:28,201 What does that even mean? Mall? 410 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:30,787 It means that's where you get them from. 411 00:30:30,870 --> 00:30:35,625 No, I know, but you didn't get them there. You got them online. 412 00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:37,168 It's where one would get them. 413 00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:42,215 Although, you didn't say that. 414 00:30:42,298 --> 00:30:45,134 I mean, you didn't say, "Oh, you know, I got them at the mall." 415 00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:46,886 You just said, "Mall." 416 00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:51,850 Just one word. One syllable. 417 00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:54,727 Well, I thought it was good to get straight to the point. 418 00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:59,357 Technically, that's the least amount that you could say to a girl 419 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,277 and still have it qualify as a conversation. 420 00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:06,322 You know what? I'm wrong. 421 00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:09,450 I'm wrong. There is something shorter. "Ma." 422 00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:12,829 What do you know about girls? Your wife is trying to divorce you. 423 00:31:12,912 --> 00:31:17,876 -"Cool sneakers." "Ma." -I'm in a fucking wheelchair, okay? 424 00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:19,335 I could spew Shakespeare shit 425 00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:21,671 and a girl like that's not gonna be interested in me. 426 00:31:21,754 --> 00:31:25,383 -Ma. -Fuck you, you're a 45-year-old ass-wiper. 427 00:31:25,466 --> 00:31:26,593 Ma. 428 00:31:30,471 --> 00:31:32,473 [humming] 429 00:31:33,057 --> 00:31:35,018 [singing] ♪ Ma, ma, ma ♪ 430 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:37,020 ♪ Ma, ma, ma ♪ 431 00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:40,231 -I think I'm gonna give one of these a go. -Yeah? 432 00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:41,649 -Yeah. -Good. 433 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:43,943 See, I knew the open road would be good for you. 434 00:31:53,411 --> 00:31:56,039 What do you think? It's good, right? 435 00:31:57,832 --> 00:31:59,876 [coughing] 436 00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:03,129 Nice try. 437 00:32:07,842 --> 00:32:10,011 That's really good. That's really funny. 438 00