Ladies First

644 00:27:34,791 --> 00:27:38,208 I'm the most hardworking, dedicated, and worthy of a promotion. 645 00:27:38,291 --> 00:27:40,291 Apart from all the people who are actually working 646 00:27:40,375 --> 00:27:42,791 instead of desperately trying to sell themselves in my office? 647 00:27:42,875 --> 00:27:45,958 - I will be going back to work. - <i>(Lamp clattering)</i> 648 00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:47,500 Thank you again. 649 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:48,583 Out. 650 00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:52,541 <i>(Damien)</i> Work, work, work. Just love, love work. 651 00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:55,000 Sorry, he just stormed past. 652 00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:57,041 <i>(Door shuts)</i> 653 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:58,958 Men. 654 00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:01,625 Tell me about it. <i>(Gulps)</i> 655 00:28:01,708 --> 00:28:03,583 Men watching their waistlines 656 00:28:03,666 --> 00:28:05,958 are concerned that a pint of Guinness 657 00:28:06,041 --> 00:28:07,708 is too much of a meal. 658 00:28:08,375 --> 00:28:11,666 So the new CEO is eager to expand 659 00:28:11,750 --> 00:28:13,458 into the wine market. 660 00:28:13,541 --> 00:28:16,208 There is a massive opportunity here 661 00:28:16,291 --> 00:28:18,708 for Guinness wines. 662 00:28:18,791 --> 00:28:19,916 <i>(All applaud and cheer)</i> 663 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,625 - Alex! - Good work, Alex. 664 00:28:21,708 --> 00:28:24,541 Thank you, Felicity. Let's get started. What have we got? 665 00:28:24,625 --> 00:28:26,208 So, I've been thinking about-- 666 00:28:26,291 --> 00:28:28,333 Okay, hold on, hold on. I've got it. 667 00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:32,541 - How about a bottle shaped like a penis? - <i>(Women)</i> Ooh. 668 00:28:32,625 --> 00:28:34,250 That's bold, and I like it. 669 00:28:34,333 --> 00:28:36,500 No man is gonna put their lips around a bottle-- 670 00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:37,916 Wait a minute. I've got something. 671 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,541 Men sometimes refer to their testicles as grapes. 672 00:28:40,625 --> 00:28:41,791 - Really? - No, they do not-- 673 00:28:41,875 --> 00:28:46,416 - So we have two gorgeous boys, super fit... - <i>(Woman)</i> Mm-hmm. Mmm. 674 00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:47,958 ...brimming with muscles, 675 00:28:48,041 --> 00:28:50,708 naked in a vat of grapes, 676 00:28:50,791 --> 00:28:53,708 crushing the grapes with their biceps. 677 00:28:53,791 --> 00:28:56,291 - The juices runni-- - And their tight little butt cheeks. 678 00:28:56,375 --> 00:28:57,708 Squeezing them. 679 00:28:57,791 --> 00:28:59,666 But they don't refer to it. It doesn't work. 680 00:28:59,750 --> 00:29:03,916 Oh, and then there's a sad old man who looks like Damien. 681 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,041 - <i>(Woman)</i> Oh. - Old? 682 00:29:05,125 --> 00:29:08,625 And he's holding a beer, watching from the sidelines. 683 00:29:08,708 --> 00:29:10,958 - Can't play in the vat. <i>(Laughs)</i> - <i>(Ruby)</i> Oh, he can't play. 684 00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:13,291 - <i>(Women mock-crying)</i> - "Pick me. Pick me." 685 00:29:13,375 --> 00:29:14,750 - Okay, but-- - <i>(Women mock)</i> 686 00:29:14,833 --> 00:29:17,291 Okay, hold on, hold on. I think Damien's got something to say. 687 00:29:17,375 --> 00:29:21,000 - Was there something you wanted to say? - Yes, thank you. I appreciate that. 688 00:29:21,083 --> 00:29:23,000 - The fundamental issue here really is-- - <i>(Sighs)</i> 689 00:29:23,083 --> 00:29:24,958 Oh, my God, I've got it. I've got the tag. 690 00:29:25,750 --> 00:29:29,833 Okay, so we're in the vat with the models, and then we cut to this glamour shot. 691 00:29:29,916 --> 00:29:33,250 Two enormous, immaculate grapes hanging on the vine. 692 00:29:33,333 --> 00:29:35,250 - Ooh. - <i>(Alex)</i> And then comes the tag. 693 00:29:35,333 --> 00:29:36,791 "Guinness." 694 00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:39,916 "We've got the biggest grapes in the business." 695 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,333 - <i>(Women)</i> Oh! Yes! - But men don't refer-- 696 00:29:42,416 --> 00:29:44,083 - Yes. - Yes! 697 00:29:44,166 --> 00:29:46,708 - Slam dunk! - <i>(Women cheering)</i> 698 00:29:46,791 --> 00:29:49,208 - <i>(Laughing)</i> - Can I finish my sentence, please? Can I-- 699 00:29:49,916 --> 00:29:51,750 <i>(Intently)</i> Can I finish the sentence, please? 700 00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:53,916 Damien, you need to relax. 701 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:54,916 Beg your pardon? 702 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,875 - You need to relax. Calm down. - <i>(Damien)</i> I do not need to relax. 703 00:29:57,958 --> 00:29:59,916 I need you all to stop interrupting me 704 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,666 so I can do my job. 705 00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:03,083 Okay, don't get emotional. 706 00:30:03,166 --> 00:30:05,791 I'm <i>not--</i> I'm... I'm not emotional. 707 00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:08,291 I'm actually ju...