Escape from L.A.

00:36:56,059 --> 00:36:57,393 I'm Map to the Stars Eddie. 523 00:36:59,687 --> 00:37:02,189 Where's Cuervo Jones' place? 524 00:37:02,190 --> 00:37:03,941 Oh, he's the man with the juice, Snake. 525 00:37:03,942 --> 00:37:04,943 He's got the President's daughter. 526 00:37:04,943 --> 00:37:06,653 He's setting up something big, but I got a feeling 527 00:37:06,653 --> 00:37:08,154 you know all about that, right? 528 00:37:11,115 --> 00:37:12,282 Location. 529 00:37:12,283 --> 00:37:13,283 That way. 530 00:37:14,661 --> 00:37:15,620 If you're gonna go through Beverly Hills, 531 00:37:15,620 --> 00:37:16,746 you're gonna need a map. 532 00:37:18,957 --> 00:37:20,875 It's prerecorded, I narrated it myself. 533 00:37:23,503 --> 00:37:26,506 Welcome to your very own map to the stars. 534 00:37:26,506 --> 00:37:27,340 That's me. 535 00:37:27,340 --> 00:37:29,467 Sure, we all know the big one wiped out 536 00:37:29,467 --> 00:37:31,594 the entertainment industry here in LA, 537 00:37:31,594 --> 00:37:34,972 but the glamor and excitement of Hollywood is still alive, 538 00:37:34,973 --> 00:37:37,517 so come with me and see where the stars-- 539 00:37:37,517 --> 00:37:40,061 Hey, Snake, you're gonna need this, I'm telling ya. 540 00:37:41,229 --> 00:37:43,272 All right, I'll give you a deal, 50,000 bucks. 541 00:37:43,273 --> 00:37:44,107 That's a real bargain. 542 00:37:44,107 --> 00:37:46,818 Map to the Stars Eddie, and here we go. 543 00:37:46,818 --> 00:37:47,818 Sucker. 544 00:37:52,115 --> 00:37:55,868 (distant gun firing) 545 00:37:55,869 --> 00:37:58,580 (sirens wailing) 546 00:38:14,888 --> 00:38:18,600 (men shouting and clamoring) 547 00:38:20,143 --> 00:38:23,020 Ssh, stay down, man, or they'll see you. 548 00:38:23,021 --> 00:38:24,313 This is only their second shift. 549 00:38:24,314 --> 00:38:26,149 You make one move, and we're done. 550 00:38:28,067 --> 00:38:29,693 And don't make noise. 551 00:38:29,694 --> 00:38:32,488 If you want to make noise, go and find another bush. 552 00:38:32,488 --> 00:38:34,323 You're the one making all the noise. 553 00:38:42,081 --> 00:38:45,292 (haunting theme music) 554 00:38:50,006 --> 00:38:51,006 Ah, shit! 555 00:38:54,886 --> 00:38:57,430 (man grunting) 556 00:38:59,807 --> 00:39:01,850 Plissken's tracer just went down. 557 00:39:01,851 --> 00:39:02,685 Terminated? 558 00:39:02,685 --> 00:39:04,103 Yes, sir, we can't even locate him 559 00:39:04,103 --> 00:39:05,562 on heat seek, he's wearing stealth. 560 00:39:05,563 --> 00:39:06,647 Now what? 561 00:39:06,648 --> 00:39:07,815 We sit tight, and we wait for the man 562 00:39:07,815 --> 00:39:08,899 to communicate with us. 563 00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:11,944 Wait, for how long, he's probably dead. 564 00:39:11,945 --> 00:39:13,821 Wait, Mr. President. 565 00:39:13,821 --> 00:39:14,821 Be patient. 566 00:39:16,407 --> 00:39:19,368 (people chattering) 567 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,081 (distant screaming) 568 00:39:28,461 --> 00:39:31,422 (distant screaming) 569 00:39:43,559 --> 00:39:46,103 I told you to stay down, now look what you've done. 570 00:39:46,104 --> 00:39:48,356 Oh, I can't believe this. 571 00:39:50,733 --> 00:39:52,609 Are you Snake Plissken? 572 00:39:54,404 --> 00:39:56,781 You look like him, in a way. 573 00:39:58,282 --> 00:40:01,868 By the way, genius, we're both dead meat. 574 00:40:08,084 --> 00:40:11,462 (distant screaming) 575 00:40:11,462 --> 00:40:12,462 What are they? 576 00:40:13,548 --> 00:40:15,883 Surgical failures. 577 00:40:15,883 --> 00:40:17,509 They live here. 578 00:40:17,510 --> 00:40:20,554 Too many implants and face-lifts over the years. 579 00:40:20,555 --> 00:40:23,015 Their muscles turn to Jell-O. 580 00:40:23,016 --> 00:40:26,310 The only way they survive is to have fresh body parts 581 00:40:26,310 --> 00:40:29,229 transplanted over and over again. 582 00:40:34,485 --> 00:40:36,987 Oh, my God. 583 00:40:36,988 --> 00:40:40,199 [Snake] Who's that? 584 00:40:40,199 --> 00:40:43,410 The surgeon general of Beverly Hills. 585 00:40:44,704 --> 00:40:46,330 These are no good. 586 00:40:48,875 --> 00:40:50,334 You couldn't give them away. 587 00:40:51,294 --> 00:40:52,294 And this, 588 00:40:54,172 --> 00:40:55,673 I can do nothing with this one. 589 00:40:56,674 --> 00:40:58,133 Yeah, wheel it away. 590 00:40:58,134 --> 00:40:59,844 [Worker] You heard what the man said, get rid of it. 591 00:40:59,844 --> 00:41:01,846 I can't work with garbage like this. 592 00:41:05,183 --> 00:41:06,183 Now, these two. 593 00:41:10,063 --> 00:41:11,647 They look very good. 594 00:41:17,487 --> 00:41:18,529 My God, they're real. 595 00:41:25,036 --> 00:41:27,663 (ominous music) 596 00:41:35,797 --> 00:41:38,216 What a beautiful blue eye. 597 00:41:38,216 --> 00:41:40,218