Better Nate Than Ever

00:28:50,458 --> 00:28:54,583 There will be a big, power ballad moment 456 00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:58,208 that takes place literally above the audience's head, 457 00:28:58,291 --> 00:29:01,458 where Stitch pilots the plane through the mountains of Honolulu. 458 00:29:03,416 --> 00:29:05,416 Yeah, thank you. 459 00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:12,666 - You don't want something to eat, do you? - I'm good. 460 00:29:12,750 --> 00:29:14,041 - Good. Okay. - Yeah. 461 00:29:30,375 --> 00:29:31,458 Let's try that again. 462 00:29:32,041 --> 00:29:34,958 Imagine you're seeing a blue dog-like alien 463 00:29:35,041 --> 00:29:38,125 for the first time in your life and it makes you scream. 464 00:29:46,458 --> 00:29:48,875 Yeah... No. For sure. Hard agree. 465 00:29:49,708 --> 00:29:51,416 Before I make the first cut, 466 00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:54,250 does anyone have a special skill they'd like to demonstrate? 467 00:29:54,333 --> 00:29:56,708 "Make the first cut." All we did was scream. 468 00:29:56,791 --> 00:29:58,375 I am an award winning tumbler. 469 00:29:58,458 --> 00:30:00,416 Is that so, number six? 470 00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:03,500 Yes. I'm the reigning Junior Mister Northeast Flipper. 471 00:30:19,500 --> 00:30:22,583 Fine. Any other Mary Lou Rettons in the room? 472 00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:28,208 Oh, uh, Garret. 473 00:30:29,208 --> 00:30:30,875 I can sorta dance. 474 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,541 I mean, not like that, that was ridiculous. 475 00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:35,541 But I can do knee crawls. 476 00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:36,916 Knee crawls? 477 00:30:37,125 --> 00:30:39,458 Yeah, like Fiddler on the Roof style knee crawls. 478 00:30:40,541 --> 00:30:44,291 I was a bottle dancer in an off-off Broadway production. 479 00:30:44,458 --> 00:30:46,208 In my friend's basement. 480 00:30:46,291 --> 00:30:48,791 In Pittsburgh. I'm going to shut up now. 481 00:30:49,583 --> 00:30:51,000 Give him a chance. 482 00:30:52,750 --> 00:30:53,875 Well, 483 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,416 this, I have to see. 484 00:30:55,541 --> 00:30:57,708 Okay, pretend I have a bottle on my head. 485 00:30:57,791 --> 00:30:59,875 - Got it. - And a beard. 486 00:31:02,250 --> 00:31:03,541 Mazel tov! 487 00:31:05,208 --> 00:31:07,500 - Oh, my gosh! My pants! - Your pants? 488 00:31:07,583 --> 00:31:10,541 Yeah, I got caught in the rain and I think my pants shrunk 489 00:31:10,625 --> 00:31:13,541 and now they're way too tight for me to do my knee crawl things. 490 00:31:13,625 --> 00:31:15,833 Does anybody have any extra shorts? 491 00:31:15,916 --> 00:31:18,458 That won't be necessary. 492 00:31:18,541 --> 00:31:22,041 For the record, I have a ton of phobias, but heights isn't one of them. 493 00:31:25,083 --> 00:31:26,541 I think we can make the cut. 494 00:31:30,208 --> 00:31:32,625 - Good try. - Thanks, number 12. 495 00:31:34,166 --> 00:31:37,541 Okay, I'm gonna say this one more time. 496 00:31:37,625 --> 00:31:41,958 This is not personal. And you're all sensational. 497 00:31:42,041 --> 00:31:47,041 It's like I'm looking at Juilliard Drama class of 2027. 498 00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:52,416 All right. If I don't read your number, 499 00:31:52,500 --> 00:31:54,333 I will see you on... 500 00:31:54,416 --> 00:31:57,458 The next one. Like there will even be a next one. 501 00:31:57,541 --> 00:32:00,750 Cut at my first and last Broadway audition. 502 00:32:00,833 --> 00:32:03,166 That's going to be the name of my memoir title. 503 00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:06,083 Hey. At least you got to audition, right? 504 00:32:06,166 --> 00:32:08,375 Yeah. By breaking into the audition 505 00:32:08,458 --> 00:32:11,166 and lying to your aunt, by the way. 506 00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:14,416 Okay, it is so weird to me that your mom's only response 507 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,583 to my voicemail is a thumbs up emoji. 508 00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:18,125 That's not so weird. 509 00:32:18,208 --> 00:32:21,416 And it's an African-American thumbs up emoji. 510 00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:24,708 Her hand must have slipped. 511 00:32:25,750 --> 00:32:28,500 Good afternoon. 2:00 p.m. to Pittsburgh now boarding. 512 00:32:28,583 --> 00:32:30,583 2:00 p.m. to Pittsburgh. 513 00:32:31,541 --> 00:32:34,541 Well, I may have missed my audition, 514 00:32:34,625 --> 00:32:38,625 but I refuse to miss the most well-paying Bar Mitzvah in U.S. history, 515 00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:39,875 so I should go. 516 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,458 Wait, you're a rabbi now? 517 00:32:41,958 --> 00:32:43,208 Ha. Ignoring that. 518 00:32:43,291 --> 00:32:46,083 No, I have to be at the Natural History Museum in 20 minutes. 519 00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,833 Ah. Yes, dinosaurs. 520 00:32:48,916 --> 00:32:52,208 Well, I'm just catering. So, don't be jealous. 521 00:32:53,208 --> 00:32