Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay

Uh, why not me? 299 00:29:43,678 --> 00:29:45,779 Six percent body fat, 20 inch guns. 300 00:29:45,781 --> 00:29:48,113 Hell, I even took a magic class once. 301 00:29:48,115 --> 00:29:52,484 <i>So, I was going strong at the end of this 10k when I saw it, uh...</i> 302 00:29:52,486 --> 00:29:53,555 him. 303 00:29:55,190 --> 00:29:57,525 <i>And at first, I thought he was God.</i> 304 00:29:59,427 --> 00:30:01,764 <i>I just couldn't figure what religion.</i> 305 00:30:03,732 --> 00:30:07,568 <i>And Nabu wasn't much of a talker but when I had that helmet on,</i> 306 00:30:07,570 --> 00:30:10,337 <i>it was like, I didn't need to hear him at all.</i> 307 00:30:10,339 --> 00:30:13,840 <i>Like, I knew what to do.</i> 308 00:30:13,842 --> 00:30:17,010 <i>Let me tell you, I was hella hot.</i> 309 00:30:17,012 --> 00:30:19,612 <i>Superhero-hot.</i> 310 00:30:19,614 --> 00:30:23,351 <i>Banshee was sprung as soon as she laid eyes on moi.</i> 311 00:30:30,490 --> 00:30:34,961 <i>I mean, come on. Sure she played hard to get at first.</i> 312 00:30:34,963 --> 00:30:37,633 <i>But I know that she knew what was up.</i> 313 00:30:39,234 --> 00:30:40,468 <i>Oh, she knew.</i> 314 00:30:41,636 --> 00:30:43,706 <i>Oh, yeah. She knew.</i> 315 00:30:45,273 --> 00:30:47,506 Oh, my God, they did it. 316 00:30:47,508 --> 00:30:50,176 That was sweet day. 317 00:30:50,178 --> 00:30:52,611 <i>I mean, Nabu hooked me up with my own place.</i> 318 00:30:52,613 --> 00:30:54,946 <i>Sometimes I'd have to fight off hell dogs,</i> 319 00:30:54,948 --> 00:30:57,315 <i>and you know, some crazy demons.</i> 320 00:30:57,317 --> 00:31:00,552 <i>But I spent most of the time dusting his knick-knacks.</i> 321 00:31:00,554 --> 00:31:02,957 <i>This dude had everything but a dead monkey.</i> 322 00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:07,659 <i>But of all the junk, the thing that Nabu cherished</i> 323 00:31:07,661 --> 00:31:10,298 <i>the absolute most was the smallest.</i> 324 00:31:13,267 --> 00:31:15,533 <i>A shiny black card.</i> 325 00:31:15,535 --> 00:31:17,369 <i>It had writing on it.</i> 326 00:31:20,140 --> 00:31:22,073 <i>"Get out of hell free?"</i> 327 00:31:22,075 --> 00:31:25,110 It's crazy, I know, I read about it in one of Nabu's books. 328 00:31:25,112 --> 00:31:28,481 Supposedly, if you have this card on you when you die, 329 00:31:28,483 --> 00:31:30,986 you bypass hell and you go straight to heaven. 330 00:31:32,954 --> 00:31:34,686 Oh, like a DFA pass. 331 00:31:34,688 --> 00:31:37,057 Yeah. 332 00:31:37,059 --> 00:31:40,426 A whole lot of blood should we start to have a card like that. 333 00:31:40,428 --> 00:31:45,932 Yeah, but only one person can use it, then it's used up. 334 00:31:45,934 --> 00:31:50,070 All I know is that damn card screwed up my situation for good. 335 00:31:50,072 --> 00:31:51,637 What do you mean? 336 00:31:51,639 --> 00:31:54,072 I'd been there about two months, and it gets old. 337 00:31:54,074 --> 00:31:58,677 <i>So one evening, I hit this bar and I meet this redhead.</i> 338 00:31:58,679 --> 00:32:01,347 <i>And she's so hot. So I said to her...</i> 339 00:32:01,349 --> 00:32:04,586 You don't know it yet, baby, but you just met your fate. 340 00:32:07,421 --> 00:32:09,723 <i>Cornball? Yes, but it works.</i> 341 00:32:09,725 --> 00:32:12,328 <i>Especially when I bring her back to my place.</i> 342 00:32:13,961 --> 00:32:16,396 <i>She had this girlfriend with her, kinda hard and quiet,</i> 343 00:32:16,398 --> 00:32:19,599 <i>not really my type but they were a package deal.</i> 344 00:32:19,601 --> 00:32:21,536 <i>Like I'm gonna say no to that?</i> 345 00:32:23,137 --> 00:32:25,605 <i>It started off great.</i> 346 00:32:25,607 --> 00:32:28,974 <i>But after a while, I got a little suspicious</i> 347 00:32:28,976 --> 00:32:31,744 <i>'cause the butch one hadn't joined in the fun yet.</i> 348 00:32:31,746 --> 00:32:34,546 <i>I mean, who can say no to all of this. Am I right?</i> 349 00:32:34,548 --> 00:32:39,452 <i>And I catch her red-handed boosting the freaking card.</i> 350 00:32:39,454 --> 00:32:40,889 <i>I mean, who does that?</i> 351 00:33:08,949 --> 00:33:11,586 <i>And the only thing they took was the card.</i> 352 00:33:13,688 --> 00:33:15,724 <i>Everything else was untouched.</i> 353 00:33:17,559 --> 00:33:19,027 <i>Including me.</i> 354 00:33:20,262 --> 00:33:21,864 <i>You think he cared?</i> 355 00:33:27,936 --> 00:33:30,172 <i>He didn't even give me a chance to explain.</i> 356 00:33:32,173 --> 00:33:36,842 A couple of days later, I called up my girlfriend, and she was freaking. 357 00:33:36,844 --> 00:33:39,078 She said people were looking for me, government types. 358 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,481 They were asking about the card. Like I knew where it was. 359 00:33:41,483 --> 00:33:45,685 Anyway, s