The Rainmaker

He come up to us and he said... 627 00:44:15,904 --> 00:44:17,071 What did you say? 628 00:44:17,072 --> 00:44:19,239 I said, "What are you gonna do about them cattle?" 629 00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:20,699 Listen, fellow. 630 00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:24,078 If you know we lost them cattle, you ought to know what killed them. 631 00:44:24,079 --> 00:44:27,665 - Drought. Ever hear of it? - Ever hear of it? That's all I hear. 632 00:44:27,666 --> 00:44:29,708 Wherever I go, there's a drought ahead of me. 633 00:44:29,709 --> 00:44:33,420 But when I leave, behind me, there's rain. Rain'. 634 00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:36,423 - I think this man's crazy. - That's what I am, crazy. 635 00:44:36,424 --> 00:44:39,968 I woke up this morning, and I looked at the world and I said to myself: 636 00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:42,347 "The world's gone completely out of its mind." 637 00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:46,850 "And the only thing that'll set it straight is a first-class, A-number one lunatic." 638 00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:50,479 Well, here I am, folks, crazy as a bedbug. Did I introduce myself? 639 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,108 The name is Starbuck, rainmaker. 640 00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:56,735 I read about a rainmaker. I think it was Idaho. 641 00:44:56,736 --> 00:44:57,986 What'd you read, lady? 642 00:44:57,987 --> 00:45:01,156 I can't remember whether they locked him up or ran him out of town. 643 00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:03,952 Might be they strung him up on a sycamore tree. 644 00:45:04,577 --> 00:45:05,953 Might be. 645 00:45:05,954 --> 00:45:09,124 Look, fellow, the idea is we don't believe in rainmakers. 646 00:45:09,582 --> 00:45:12,168 What do you believe in, mister? Dying cattle? 647 00:45:12,544 --> 00:45:14,420 You really mean you can bring rain? 648 00:45:14,421 --> 00:45:16,463 He talks too fast. He can't bring anything. 649 00:45:16,464 --> 00:45:19,007 I asked him. Can you bring rain? 650 00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:21,720 It's been done, brother. It's been done. 651 00:45:22,011 --> 00:45:24,471 - Where? How? - How? Sodium chloride. 652 00:45:24,472 --> 00:45:26,432 Pitch it up high, right up to the clouds. 653 00:45:26,433 --> 00:45:28,892 Electrify the cold front, neutralize the warm front. 654 00:45:28,893 --> 00:45:32,730 Barometricize the tropopause, magnetize occlusions in the sky. 655 00:45:32,731 --> 00:45:36,775 - In other words, bunk. - Lady, you are right. 656 00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:38,861 And you know why that sounds like bunk? 657 00:45:38,862 --> 00:45:41,196 Because it is bunk. Bunk and hokey-pokey. 658 00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:44,534 And I tell you, I'd be ashamed to use any of those methods. 659 00:45:44,868 --> 00:45:46,326 What method do you use? 660 00:45:46,327 --> 00:45:48,997 My method's like my name. It's all mine own. 661 00:45:49,289 --> 00:45:51,790 - Care to hear my deal? - We're not interested. 662 00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:53,460 Not one bit. 663 00:45:56,379 --> 00:45:59,257 - Any charge for listening? - No charge. Free. 664 00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:01,384 Go ahead. What's the deal? 665 00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:09,099 $100 in advance. 666 00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:12,060 And inside of 24 hours, you will have rain. 667 00:46:12,061 --> 00:46:15,105 - You mean it? Real rain? - Rain is rain, brother. 668 00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:18,777 It comes from the sky. It's a wetness known as water. Aqua pura. 669 00:46:19,068 --> 00:46:22,196 Mammals drink it, fish swim in it, little boys wade in it... 670 00:46:22,197 --> 00:46:25,073 and the birds flap their wings and sing like sunrise. 671 00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:27,202 Water, I recommend it. 672 00:46:29,829 --> 00:46:32,331 - Pay him the $100, Noah. - Don't be a chump, Noah. 673 00:46:32,332 --> 00:46:35,459 - Don't worry, I won't. - How would you do it, Starbuck? 674 00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:37,377 Now, don't ask me no questions. 675 00:46:37,378 --> 00:46:40,048 Why? It's a fair question. How will you do it? 676 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:44,385 What do you care how I do it, sister? As long as it's done. 677 00:46:46,095 --> 00:46:50,224 But I'll tell you how I do it. I'll lift this stick and take a long swipe at the sky. 678 00:46:50,225 --> 00:46:53,393 I'll let down a shower of hailstones as big as cantaloupes. 679 00:46:53,394 --> 00:46:55,854 I'll shout out some good old Nebraska cuss words. 680 00:46:55,855 --> 00:46:59,107 You turn around and there's a lake where your ground used to be. 681 00:46:59,108 --> 00:47:00,859 Or I'll sing a little tune maybe... 682 00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:04,571 and it'll sound so pretty and sound so sad, you'll weep. 683 00:47:04,572 --> 00:47:06,491 And your old man will weep. 684 00:47:06,991 --> 00:47:08,826 And the sky will get all misty-like 685 00:47:08,827 --> 00:47:11,371 and shed the prettiest tears you ever did see. 686 00:47:11,871