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00:28:59,433 --> 00:29:01,800 OF HOW A WOMAN'S BODY SHOULD LOOK. 568 00:29:04,233 --> 00:29:07,033 AND I'M SURE POSITIVE ROLE MODELS EXIST. 569 00:29:07,067 --> 00:29:09,767 IN FACT, I REMEMBER SEEING THE MOVIE "HAIRSPRAY," 570 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,667 IN WHICH RICKI LAKE PLAYS THE UNLIKELY HERO. 571 00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:15,033 SHE HAD A BODY SHAPE THAT WE'RE JUST NOT 572 00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:18,467 USED TO SEEING ON THE BIG SCREEN. 573 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:22,267 I'VE HAD A VERY COMPLEX, COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP-- 574 00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:25,133 A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BODY, AS I THINK MOST WOMEN HAVE. 575 00:29:27,467 --> 00:29:30,467 MY WHOLE CAREER STARTED BECAUSE JOHN WATERS CHOSE ME 576 00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:32,167 TO BE THE FAT GIRL IN HIS MOVIE. 577 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,233 OH, CORNY, DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M GOOD ENOUGH? 578 00:29:34,267 --> 00:29:36,200 WHAT DO YOU THINK, KIDS? 579 00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:39,133 I WAS THE ORIGINAL TRACY TURNBLAD, 580 00:29:39,167 --> 00:29:42,833 AND WHAT AN AMAZING CHARACTER AND AMAZING ROLE MODEL. 581 00:29:42,867 --> 00:29:46,633 I'M BIG, BLOND, AND BEAUTIFUL. 582 00:29:46,667 --> 00:29:48,167 I GET WHY HE CHOSE ME. 583 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,400 THE FILM SUBVERTS THE HOLLYWOOD NARRATIVE 584 00:29:49,433 --> 00:29:51,167 OF ONE SIZE FITS ALL-- 585 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,033 THE BIG GIRL THAT GETS THE GUY AND WINS THE DANCE CONTEST. 586 00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:58,667 LET'S DANCE! 587 00:29:58,700 --> 00:30:02,367 BUT I ALSO HAD ALL THESE INTERNAL INSECURITIES 588 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,100 ABOUT MY BODY AND WHAT I LOOKED LIKE. 589 00:30:04,133 --> 00:30:07,600 AND I WAS VERY YOUNG AND I WAS NOT SOMEONE 590 00:30:07,633 --> 00:30:09,600 THAT BOYS WERE DRAWN TO, 591 00:30:09,633 --> 00:30:12,600 AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS A SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR, 592 00:30:12,633 --> 00:30:16,533 SO I HAD ALL OF THAT MIXED UP, THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ATTRACTIVE TO MEN. 593 00:30:16,567 --> 00:30:21,433 SO I THINK I WAS EATING AS A WAY TO KIND OF PROTECT MYSELF, 594 00:30:21,467 --> 00:30:23,500 AND I FELT LIKE I WAS A WALKING CONTRADICTION. 595 00:30:23,533 --> 00:30:24,767 ON THE ONE HAND, PUBLICLY, 596 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,700 I BECAME A STAR AS THIS ADORABLE FAT GIRL. 597 00:30:27,733 --> 00:30:30,567 BUT YET, INSIDE, I WAS STILL TRYING TO FIND MYSELF 598 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,233 AND FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY SKIN. 599 00:30:32,267 --> 00:30:34,767 AND I THINK MUCH OF MY ADULT LIFE HAS BEEN ABOUT THAT. 600 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:39,200 AND BEING A FAMOUS PERSON AND HAVING THAT STRUGGLE 601 00:30:39,233 --> 00:30:42,767 BEING SO PUBLIC IS REALLY A MIXED BAG, TOO. 602 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,167 AND I FELT FOR A LONG TIME, BECAUSE I GOT SKINNY 603 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,033 I'D GET BIG AGAIN, I'D HAVE THE BABY, I'D GET-- 604 00:30:47,067 --> 00:30:48,700 YOU KNOW, IT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER. 605 00:30:48,733 --> 00:30:52,600 I MEAN, I'VE BEEN 120 POUNDS AND I'VE BEEN 260 POUNDS. 606 00:30:52,633 --> 00:30:55,333 RIGHT NOW, TODAY, I'D LOVE TO LOSE 20 POUNDS. 607 00:30:55,367 --> 00:30:57,167 I JUST TURNED 46 A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO 608 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,133 AND I HAVE IT ALL. I REALLY HAVE IT ALL. 609 00:31:00,167 --> 00:31:02,667 BUT IT'S STILL-- I LOOK IN THE MIRROR 610 00:31:02,700 --> 00:31:05,600 AND I PINCH MY ARM, AND I-- YOU KNOW. 611 00:31:05,633 --> 00:31:07,800 IT'S LIKE I WISH THAT I COULD BE LIKE 612 00:31:07,833 --> 00:31:12,833 ONE OF THOSE WOMEN THAT CAN JUST GET OVER IT 613 00:31:12,867 --> 00:31:17,400 AND NOT-- AND JUST BE OKAY WITH WHAT I HAVE TODAY. 614 00:31:20,100 --> 00:31:21,833 AND I FELT IMPLICATED FOR A LONG TIME, 615 00:31:21,867 --> 00:31:24,400 BECAUSE HERE I WAS WHEN I LOST ALL THE WEIGHT, 616 00:31:24,433 --> 00:31:26,700 AND I'M ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE IN A BATHING SUIT. 617 00:31:26,733 --> 00:31:29,067 I MEAN, WHAT MESSAGE AM I SENDING? 618 00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:31,300 BUT I WAS REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF. 619 00:31:31,333 --> 00:31:34,333 IT'S A HUGE, HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME. 620 00:31:34,367 --> 00:31:37,800 AND THAT WAS ONE OF THEIR NUMBER ONE SELLING COVERS OF ALL TIME, 621 00:31:37,833 --> 00:31:41,100 WAS ME-- ME! I MEAN I WASN'T EVEN THAT FAMOUS. 622 00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:43,367 BUT I GET IT. THERE WAS PART OF ME 623 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:47,133 THAT WASN'T TOTALLY SURPRISED, BECAUSE I'M THAT PERSON, TOO, 624 00:31:47,167 --> 00:31:49,367 THAT WANTS TO KNOW "HOW DID SHE DO IT?" 625 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,833 BUT I ALSO WONDER IF IT'S DOING A DISSERVICE 626 00:31:51,867 --> 00:31:55,267 BY BEING SO PUBLIC ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S SO, REALLY, SO TRIVIAL. 627 00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:59,133 WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT AND WORLD PEACE. 628 00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:00,667 [TARYN] SO, RICKI, HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED 629 00:32:00,700 --> 00:32:03,633 WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE TO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT? 630 00:32:03,667 -