Futurama: Bender's Game

411 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,380 made of pure anti-backwards energy. 412 00:28:44,300 --> 00:28:45,880 -Wow! -Wow! 413 00:28:45,970 --> 00:28:47,890 -So? -So, this! 414 00:28:47,970 --> 00:28:49,850 If ever the two crystals should meet, 415 00:28:49,930 --> 00:28:53,680 their wave functions would collapse like Raymond Burr's trampoline, 416 00:28:53,770 --> 00:28:58,230 once again rendering all dark matter inert and useless as fuel. 417 00:28:58,310 --> 00:28:59,690 But then we'll have no fuel. 418 00:28:59,770 --> 00:29:04,110 But once we free society from dependence on Mom's dark matter, 419 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,780 scientists will finally care enough to develop cleaner, alternative fuels. 420 00:29:08,870 --> 00:29:10,530 Scientists like you? 421 00:29:10,620 --> 00:29:15,000 No, not me. I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs. 422 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,830 That's where the money is. 423 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,750 This is our chance to teach Mom a lesson. Come on! 424 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,210 Let's take the anti-crystal and shove it up Mom's regular crystal. 425 00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:25,920 -Yeah. -Fight the power! 426 00:29:26,630 --> 00:29:30,350 There's just one, small problem, and it's a big one. 427 00:29:30,430 --> 00:29:33,270 I hid the crystal and I can't remember where. 428 00:29:33,350 --> 00:29:36,640 Well, surely it's just a matter of waiting till you next move your bowels 429 00:29:36,730 --> 00:29:40,440 -and then using a potato masher... -Don't you think I already tried that? 430 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,190 No. I'm afraid, the crystal is lost forever. 431 00:29:46,530 --> 00:29:49,200 Nine? You did it. You outwitted the fungus. 432 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,450 Who needs girls? 433 00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:58,040 Since you have all proven resistant to individualized hammer therapy, 434 00:29:58,170 --> 00:30:01,210 I now prescribe group therapy. 435 00:30:07,550 --> 00:30:09,550 Everything must be clean, very clean. 436 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,810 That's why the dog had to die. He was a dirty dog. Dirty, dirty. 437 00:30:12,890 --> 00:30:15,430 Also, that boy, Elroy. Dirty, dirty. 438 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,440 Who would like to share their feelings? 439 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,980 -l feel unappreciated at work. -What? 440 00:30:21,060 --> 00:30:23,860 -I can barely understand you. -l said l feel... 441 00:30:23,940 --> 00:30:25,480 Change places. 442 00:30:28,110 --> 00:30:32,950 Well, well. Looks like old Roberto is the focus of attention now. 443 00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:34,990 Stop looking at me. 444 00:30:37,830 --> 00:30:39,540 Calm down, Roberto. 445 00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:41,750 Tell us about your childhood. 446 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:45,050 I was designed by a team of engineers attempting to build 447 00:30:45,130 --> 00:30:48,880 an insane robot. But it seems they failed. 448 00:30:49,630 --> 00:30:51,180 Actually... 449 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,680 Look, we have to accept the fact that we all have a serious problem. 450 00:30:57,770 --> 00:31:01,230 And if we ever wanna get out of here, the first step is to admit it. 451 00:31:01,310 --> 00:31:02,400 -Amen. -Good, Bender. 452 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:03,520 -That's right. -Yes. 453 00:31:03,610 --> 00:31:05,940 There's a band of river trolls living in the moat, 454 00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:08,690 and they may have no intention of letting us out of this castle, 455 00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:12,570 unless we hand over the Golden Scepter of Zanthor. 456 00:31:12,660 --> 00:31:14,780 Say what? Dude's crazy. 457 00:31:14,870 --> 00:31:18,500 -Bender, please, try to... -I know not of this Bender. 458 00:31:18,580 --> 00:31:20,540 I am Titanius Inglesmith, 459 00:31:20,620 --> 00:31:22,250 fancy man of Cornwood. 460 00:31:22,330 --> 00:31:25,040 You are suffering a breakdown. Now stop. 461 00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:26,250 Hammer time. 462 00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:33,970 I'm in your seat. I forgot we had changed places. 463 00:31:34,050 --> 00:31:35,600 Change places. 464 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,230 Good news, everyone! 465 00:31:41,310 --> 00:31:44,230 -You perfected dog mascara? -Far from it. 466 00:31:44,310 --> 00:31:46,650 If you ask me, they look like a bunch of hookers. 467 00:31:46,730 --> 00:31:50,900 But what I have invented is a means of locating the missing crystal. 468 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:56,580 When I push this button, the crystal will emit a high-frequency stink. 469 00:31:56,660 --> 00:31:57,830 Hurray! 470 00:31:58,700 --> 00:32:02,330 There. Now, with any luck I'll detect it with my smelling aid. 471 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:09,880 I just pray to all powerful Atheismo that we find it before Mom does. 472 00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:13,090 -Do you smell the crystal, Professor? -No, damn it!