Small Soldiers

- You're nothing but trouble. 419 00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:05,205 Alan, we must... 420 00:36:16,216 --> 00:36:18,009 Link Static to command post. 421 00:36:18,093 --> 00:36:22,389 Have targeted single Gorgonite with civilian escort. 422 00:36:22,472 --> 00:36:25,016 Approaching your position. Over. 423 00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:28,311 Roger, Private Static. Copy that. 424 00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:31,064 Brick Bazooka, front and center. 425 00:36:31,147 --> 00:36:33,983 - Sir! - Prepare for assault, Sergeant. 426 00:36:36,778 --> 00:36:40,448 Don't fire till you see the whites of his eyes. 427 00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:42,617 Prepare to fire the bazooka. 428 00:36:45,578 --> 00:36:47,122 Fire! 429 00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:04,764 Gorgoniten K9-Korps. 430 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,730 Watch it. I'll have your dog tags. 431 00:37:14,441 --> 00:37:16,276 What are you doing here? 432 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,363 Go home. 433 00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:28,872 Coming up. 434 00:37:29,706 --> 00:37:31,916 Hand over hand. 435 00:37:34,002 --> 00:37:36,755 I'm coming for you, Gorgonite. 436 00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:04,491 Damn potholes. 437 00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:08,703 <i>Command post to Brick Bazooka.</i> <i>Report.</i> 438 00:38:10,163 --> 00:38:13,291 <i>Repeat: This is command post.</i> <i>Report.</i> 439 00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:16,961 Brick Bazooka reporting. 440 00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:22,592 Target escaped en route to enemy stronghold, sir. 441 00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:24,928 I'm pretty messed up, sir. 442 00:38:25,011 --> 00:38:28,223 <i>Hold on, son.</i> <i>We're on our way.</i> 443 00:38:29,682 --> 00:38:33,436 - Wrong gauge. - Insert tab A into slot B. 444 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,647 Turn until click. 445 00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:38,149 Bite the bullet, pal. It'll be okay. 446 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:41,194 Here's the tape. Let's close him up. 447 00:38:41,778 --> 00:38:44,781 Go ahead, kid. Let it out. 448 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:55,291 It's a small world after all. 449 00:38:58,711 --> 00:39:02,090 Hello, Heartland Play Systems. How may I help you? 450 00:39:02,173 --> 00:39:05,718 Yes, I'm having some trouble with one of your... 451 00:39:05,802 --> 00:39:08,847 What is the name of the toy and the nature of the problem? 452 00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:14,227 - The toys are the Gorgonites. - There are no more Gorgonites. 453 00:39:14,310 --> 00:39:15,436 And the Commando Elite. 454 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,774 - They are the mortal enemies of the Gorgonites. - <i>And what is the problem?</i> 455 00:39:19,858 --> 00:39:23,278 The Commandos wrecked my dad's store and destroyed the Gorgonites! 456 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:26,281 The Commando Elite are designed to fight the Gorgonites. 457 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:29,200 No, they destroyed them, and now they're gone! 458 00:39:29,284 --> 00:39:32,704 <i>I'm sorry, but Heartland Play Systems</i> <i>does not replace lost toys.</i> 459 00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:35,415 I didn't lose them! Is there a machine I can talk to? 460 00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:38,126 - Just transfer me to a machine! - <i>Fine.</i> 461 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:41,462 - Have a nice day, ma'am. - I'm not a ma'am! 462 00:39:43,006 --> 00:39:46,843 <i>Please state the name of your toy</i> <i>and nature of your problem.</i> 463 00:39:46,926 --> 00:39:49,679 Your damn Commando Elite wrecked my dad's store... 464 00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:54,893 ... destroyed the super Gorgonites and ran off! Got it? Lawsuit! Got that? 465 00:39:55,894 --> 00:40:00,273 Alan Abernathy, 330-555-0125. 466 00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:04,152 - Destroy Gorgonites... - Shut up! 467 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:13,536 - Alan... - Don't talk to me! 468 00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:18,207 Not a word! 469 00:40:26,966 --> 00:40:29,177 On Monday morning, at 0900 hours... 470 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:34,474 ... 250,000 Commandos and 250,000 Gorgonites will fight side by side... 471 00:40:34,557 --> 00:40:37,810 ... with children everywhere, trying to separate mommy and daddy... 472 00:40:37,894 --> 00:40:40,980 ... from the money in their wallets. 473 00:40:42,899 --> 00:40:44,609 Larry... 474 00:40:46,694 --> 00:40:48,404 Okay, now listen to this. 475 00:40:48,488 --> 00:40:52,867 They cover 100 merchandise licensees for the next two months. 476 00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:55,453 You won't be able to turn on a TV, board a bus... 477 00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:57,914 ... open a lunch box, or put on your own underwear... 478 00:40:57,997 --> 00:41:02,543 ... without seeing the Gorgonites raging war with the Commando Elite! 479 00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:06,047 What do you think of that, Mr. Mars? 480 00:41:06,756 --> 00:41:09,133 Well, it's a start. 481 00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:12,887 Larry...? Larry. 482 00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:14,847 Larry, folks. 483 00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:22,563 - You know, when I started