The Pirates of Somalia

[both] Good night. 714 00:36:24,556 --> 00:36:29,056 ♪♪ 715 00:36:34,775 --> 00:36:37,068 [speaking Somali] 716 00:36:39,446 --> 00:36:41,614 - Welcome, welcome. 717 00:36:41,865 --> 00:36:43,199 - Yeah. 718 00:36:43,450 --> 00:36:47,704 - You will be here the next six months. 719 00:36:47,955 --> 00:36:50,290 - Great. - Yes. This is my cousin. 720 00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:52,459 [speaking Somali] 721 00:36:52,710 --> 00:36:55,754 - Hi, Jay. - [speaking Somali] 722 00:36:56,004 --> 00:36:57,630 - I'll work on that. - Mm-hmm. 723 00:36:57,881 --> 00:36:59,674 - Nice to meet you. - We call him the Yellow Chair. 724 00:36:59,925 --> 00:37:01,384 - Yellow Chair? 725 00:37:01,635 --> 00:37:03,178 Oh, 'cause there's a yellow chair, I get it. 726 00:37:03,429 --> 00:37:04,513 - He's a little crazy, yes. - I get it. That's good. 727 00:37:04,763 --> 00:37:07,015 - [speaking Somali] 728 00:37:07,266 --> 00:37:10,060 - Hi. 729 00:37:10,310 --> 00:37:11,894 - I tell them you're a white ghost. 730 00:37:12,146 --> 00:37:14,690 - Why the fuck did you do that, man? 731 00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:17,150 - They've never seen a white man before. It's okay. 732 00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:20,946 They are my sister's kids. I live up there. 733 00:37:21,196 --> 00:37:22,280 - All right. - Mm. 734 00:37:22,531 --> 00:37:24,366 - Third floor? - It's--yes. 735 00:37:24,616 --> 00:37:26,576 It's--it's usually very quiet here. 736 00:37:26,827 --> 00:37:28,119 - Okay, that's great. 737 00:37:28,370 --> 00:37:31,414 - Although it's--it gets hot from the sun, 738 00:37:31,665 --> 00:37:35,001 and thanks to you we are the only people with Internet. 739 00:37:35,252 --> 00:37:36,461 - What? - Yes, that alone 740 00:37:36,712 --> 00:37:39,715 is worth you being my guest. 741 00:37:39,965 --> 00:37:41,132 Thank you. - Glad I could be 742 00:37:41,383 --> 00:37:43,718 of some service to you. - Yes. 743 00:37:43,969 --> 00:37:48,469 - Oh, wow, nice. - Nice hall. 744 00:37:49,141 --> 00:37:52,394 So yes, I need to advise you, keep that closed. 745 00:37:52,644 --> 00:37:53,936 - Really? - The whole time. 746 00:37:54,188 --> 00:37:55,814 There are orders from the colonel, Omar. 747 00:37:56,064 --> 00:37:59,025 - He's not into sunshine? - He's into keeping you alive. 748 00:37:59,276 --> 00:38:01,987 - Fair enough. 749 00:38:02,237 --> 00:38:04,030 Oh, cute. 750 00:38:04,281 --> 00:38:06,783 - And yes, uh, we are very sorry, uh, no hot water. 751 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:09,036 Welcome to Somalia, yeah. - [chuckles] 752 00:38:09,286 --> 00:38:10,912 No worries. I'll make do. 753 00:38:11,163 --> 00:38:12,622 Was thinking about growing it out. What do you think? 754 00:38:12,873 --> 00:38:14,457 - Oh, hair on the face is very popular here. 755 00:38:14,708 --> 00:38:15,959 - Yeah? - Yes. 756 00:38:16,210 --> 00:38:17,586 - Good. That's great. - Good idea. 757 00:38:17,836 --> 00:38:18,962 You have a mosquito net? 758 00:38:19,213 --> 00:38:20,714 - I do, definitely. - Good. 759 00:38:20,964 --> 00:38:24,092 Malaria is very rampant here, as well as rats, 760 00:38:24,343 --> 00:38:26,595 So any valuable, any food, 761 00:38:26,845 --> 00:38:28,972 you must keep it inside the box. 762 00:38:32,893 --> 00:38:35,604 - Cool, just like camp. 763 00:38:35,854 --> 00:38:37,355 Well, thanks for everything, Abdi. 764 00:38:37,606 --> 00:38:39,190 - Yes, uh, welcome. Good night. 765 00:38:39,441 --> 00:38:40,817 Anything you need, uh, let me know. 766 00:38:41,068 --> 00:38:42,069 - Okay, perfect, thank you. 767 00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:43,903 Oh, uh, one last thing. 768 00:38:44,154 --> 00:38:47,198 Um, I kind of like to work with things taped on the walls. 769 00:38:47,449 --> 00:38:48,700 Is that okay? - Oh, it's okay, 770 00:38:48,951 --> 00:38:51,620 as long as no pornography, eh? 771 00:38:51,870 --> 00:38:53,538 - Not a problem. - Because small, little kids 772 00:38:53,789 --> 00:38:54,956 come, walk in. - Yeah, no. 773 00:38:55,207 --> 00:38:56,416 - So--so no-- - Please, yeah. 774 00:38:56,667 --> 00:38:57,793 - Okay. Bye. - All right. 775 00:38:58,043 --> 00:39:00,420 [speaking Somali] - Good night. 776 00:39:00,671 --> 00:39:03,006 Bye-bye. - Thank you. Night. 777 00:39:03,257 --> 00:39:05,467 [exhales] 778 00:39:08,345 --> 00:39:12,845 Can't open the fucking window. 779 00:39:13,267 --> 00:39:16,019 [Joe Dassin's "Et Si Tu N'existais Pas playing] 780 00:39:16,270 --> 00:39:20,770 ♪♪ 781 00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:46,383 [man singing Muslim prayer] 782 00:39:53,807 --> 00:39:55,934 - Ahh! Oh, shit! - Oh, shit! 783 00:39:56,184 --> 00:39:58,436 Oh, shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit. 784 00:39:58,687 --> 00:40:02,482 - [speaking Somali] 785 00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:05,152 Oh, shit. 786 00:40:08,614 --> 00:40:12,...